1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely?
2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like?
3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often?
Losing time with my partner is the main thing that bothers me. As long as it doesn't impact how much time/focus we have for each other, it's pretty flexible.
4. Do you expect to meet your primary's dates?
By the 3rd date, before things get serious.
5. Do you have limits on the amount of times per week that you see secondaries?
Only limit would be how much time it takes from time with each other. Aside from that it's wide open.
6. Do you operate a "I'll do (x activity - date/kiss/sleep with) then tell you" - or do you operate "I'd like to do (x) - would you be ok with it?"
See what's ok first, until it's well established, then notify when something actually happens.
7. Do you have a veto rule? Do you agree with vetoing?
Yes, but I'd be loathe to use it for an established relationship unless there was a very good reason.
8. What is the biggest stress for you in poly? (possessiveness, jealous, threat, guilt, time constraints, etc)
Time constraints, reduced focus, having less control over our day to day life as room as commitments to others are added.
9. What is the difference, for you, between acting in a poly way, and acting in a single way?
When single and dating you're operating from a blank slate with minimal commitments, while in polyamory you have other people outside the couple that need to be taken into account.
|guidelines, jealousy, poly, rules, veto|