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Old 07-09-2012, 10:19 PM
gab gab is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5
Question I am moving to the city, my primary is not??

Hi! I am new to this website and am reaching out for some advice if anyone has some to give me.


I am 25 years old, my primary boyfriend is 12 years my senior (m). I have some experience with poly, but always in that I had a relationship with a group of people, and conducted my other relationships in an honest, but separate manner. My current boyfriend of 1.5 years, m, does not have any experience in these realms, besides some beginning exploration with me. He has met my 'group of people', we have fooled around with / in group settings, but nothing serious. We are great at communicating and honest, however, m, and myself at times have issues with jealousy.

We have always maintained the pretense of poly in our relationship, but haven't really integrated it into our lives. I am moving very soon 1.5 hours away to a bigger city, so the question of dating other people is rearing it's head.

I think that setting limitations with what we are comfortable with is a good idea, however m (idealistically) doesn't like the idea of limiting me. He still has recently been very jealous, and moody when thinking about me moving to the city. I think that limitations (with in reason and in the beginning) will help with the transition.

Also, I recently found out that I have herpes. Since I found out, I have only been with my primary partner. I am responsible, safe and honest, but I am also wondering how this comes into play in being poly. Anyone?

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to integrate poly into our lives? I know that this works differently for everyone. Safety is obviously a concern, for both our partners and for us. I want him to remain my primary partner, for us to get over our jealousy issues. I was hoping someone may have gone through something similar and could share their experiences with me (/us)? Or maybe any good book suggestions. I've already read the ethical slut.

Thank you all, and I look forward to reading your helpful comments.
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jealousy, moving

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