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Old 07-09-2012, 06:49 PM
JynLove JynLove is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 26
Default Just my thoughts on poly, the few issues since coming out to my partner.

The first, and it's a big one, I have been asked "So what is my place in all of this?". They treat it as if the only options are fuckbuddy of friend. Some are okay with that, but the one I want I think feels like he would be second class. That just isn't true! I want to give my lovers equal place. Maybe not immediately, let a relationship blossom first, but in time. *sigh*

How about "I wish there was just a clone of you." Hello!!!!! I am right here!!! Why take a clone when you can have the original! Both C (my ex whom I still love and likely always will) and R (my new lover) told me that. Please! I have the capacity to take care of both of you the exact way I take care of my husband!

"I am not looking to hurt anyone, or be hurt." It's a risk of any relationship. None are perfect, and monogamy is not going to save you from hurt. Get over it, live in the moment not whatever doomsday future you are envisioning. We're all adults. And I will never intentionally hurt anyone.

I wasn't having a problem until now. Then I was told by R "Wherever this relationship goes, just be aware that if I meet another girl that isn't okay with it this will probably end, but we will still be friends."

Now see jealousy was not going to be an issue. But now that I know that I am second class so to speak, I am wary. Now I don't want girls to see him, or vice versa because they threaten my relationship with him. *sigh* but you know, it is what it is.

R did display some encouraging signs, so I am not writing it off yet.

Remarkably, NONE of the difficulties have been with my husband lol!
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