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Old 07-07-2012, 07:51 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default I prefer ORE/ERE!

I often feel like O/ERE is like the difference between having a nourishing, deeply satisfying meal of comfort food, and eating two huge sticks of cotton candy (what I equate NRE to). To me it is much more based in reality, comfort, mutual understanding and history.

E. and I have been really enjoying our O/ERE as of late - I bought him flowers a couple of weeks ago, he's been leaving me love notes and bringing me breakfast in bed, I asked him out to an action/adventure movie (not usually my thing) and we've been going out for dinner at the local hippie cafe and sitting at "our table" holding hands and sharing our meals. Long walks with the dogs, intimate sex with mindblowing/knowing orgasms, dating other women and feeling really bonded to each other while doing so. That look in his eye that he knows and loves my soul without reservation, reflected back in my view of him. Our ability to communicate from the very core of ourselves, be absolutely vulnerable and know that it's safe, and our ability to laugh at ourselves and each other. All of that history and knowing wrapped up into every kiss, touch and hug - my soul mate and life partner whom my life will unfold next to. I sure do love him, and value the comfort and acceptance that we foster between us in our O/ERE! Last night we just chilled on the couch, him with a cider, me with a Stella, talking and joking around - no movie, nobody but us and the dogs, just relaxing and being together..... followed by some bondage, crop play and scintillating oral. Doesn't have to be boring to be established LOL!
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Old 07-09-2012, 02:46 AM
bestofus bestofus is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6

I just read through what hubby posted here (this is M, or better known as Megs). I figured I would put my .02 in. I love it when we do silly things like playing casino at the kitchen table of an evening, or a few games of farkle. To that's time well spent. We laugh, carry on, insult eachother, belly laugh, and when neither of us are paying attention we have deep involved convorsations.
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Old 07-09-2012, 03:22 AM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 256

Fly has been giving me some ERI lately. He travels a lot for a sport he participates in, and he's pretty non-communicative while out of town. He's learned, though, that it makes me feel really good to know that he's thinking of me while he's gone, so this weekend while he was away he made a point to text me how he was doing, just check in with me and keep in touch every day. It's against his nature, but he does it because it means so much to me.

A lot of our ERI happens when we make plans together. It took us a long time to get to the point where we could feel that we have a future together. Now, to do things like plant apple trees that won't get fruit for a couple years is a real leap of faith, and a declaration that we'll be eating apples together at some point ahead of us.

We do all the regular stuff, like having regular date nights and that kind of thing, but it's the quiet moments when we're just living together and being in the present with each other, that's when I think my heart might burst and splatter gooey sticky love all over the place.

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 11-year-old son Kiddo
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Old 07-09-2012, 06:42 PM
Nudibranch Nudibranch is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: PNW
Posts: 36

Nice thread. I like OLD relationship energy because OLD is a word that needs to be reclaimed as something wonderful.

In my 20+ year relationship--to which our third was added just early this year--we have so many wonderful skeezy moments. Like when we have quiet time, and he rubs my feet, and we talk about the day's events. Or we find ourselves looking at something and quoting the same Simpsons/Kids in the Hall/Onion lines. Or when I find a cut-out paper heart somewhere I didn't expect it (most recently, one of my rifle range bags). Or when I come home with our partner after three hours out together, and find my husband has done a major house or land chore that was back burnered. Or when he orders and brings home just the right movie or CD from interlibrary loan.

Our third does many of these same things, and we each and both adore it and him. But there is a special glow when it happens with someone I've known for nearly half my life. The enduring quality of it. The simple intimacy. The utter honesty. And the knowledge that no matter how grumpy or upset or confused or inadequate I am, this man loves me for keeps. It's just awesome.

We're pretty sure that we'll find ourselves in this situation with our third in another ten years.

And I'm editing this to add:

The NRE with our third...I've been giving it a lot of thought. I suppose it helps that we are all older, but we aren't as loopy-goofy-NRE-ish as I've experienced earlier in my life in poly liaisons/relationships. It's quiet and deep and lovely while also being hot and fun and heart/mind/body expanding. Still, our third has said on occasion that he's looking forward to a time when we all settle in a bit more...even as he loves the energy as it exists. I've tried to compare the NRE with the ORE but for the life of me all I come up with is different facets of loving.

Last edited by Nudibranch; 07-09-2012 at 06:46 PM.
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nre, ore

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