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  #51  
Old 07-06-2012, 01:13 AM
PussNBoots PussNBoots is offline
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With some people it just takes time. I always get performance anxiety the first few times with a new partner. It's just something that happens. Eventually it does go away for me, so I don't worry too much about it. I just try to stay away from one-night-stands (which are not really what I'm looking for anyway).
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  #52  
Old 12-08-2013, 04:50 AM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Well, after a whole lot of soul searching, it turns out I'm transgender. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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  #53  
Old 12-08-2013, 06:22 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by tachycardia View Post
I'm considering asking my doctor for a scrip, but I doubt he'd give me one since I'm fine at home.
Gralson has asked a few doctors for viagra scripts, not because he can't get it up, but because he wants to keep it up for marathoning. He's never had any trouble getting it just by request.
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  #54  
Old 12-08-2013, 03:04 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Well, after a whole lot of soul searching, it turns out I'm transgender. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Well! Congrats at figuring that out! Do you feel your gender ID and body dysphoria have anything to do with the ED issues, or do you mean to start an entirely different topic?
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  #55  
Old 12-08-2013, 08:42 PM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well! Congrats at figuring that out! Do you feel your gender ID and body dysphoria have anything to do with the ED issues, or do you mean to start an entirely different topic?
The former? I could probably fill a book on the other topic, but it seems like there's a better spot for the tachycardia show starring tachycardia. I'm probably going to be hanging at Susan's more than here for a while. Maybe I'll end up back on these boards in the event I decide to transition and want a shot at being in one of the rare marriages that survives the change.

My gender identity is definitely related to the ED. For the most part, I enjoy "vanilla" sex only when I'm focused on pleasing my partner. I don't really like my body being touched. I kind of cringe at it, freeze, and try to hide it. If I'm getting head from my wife, I'm usually projecting myself into her and imagining what it would be like to be her sucking my dick (cf. autogynephilia.) I gather this doesn't work with a new partner since I don't know them well enough. Also, I just have a general dislike for myself, and feel like there's something wrong with me, and like it's going to be found out, and I'll be crushed. Obviously it's difficult to relax and get into it under those circumstances.

However, I'm only aware of my transgender identity at an intellectual level at this point, as the psychological defenses of my "false self" have an epic stranglehold on my emotions. Really feeling my cross-gender identity has occured only in momentary flashes, as though I had peeked my head out of Plato's cave for the first time and retreated to the shadows after being blinded by the sun. So far, I've been clinging to the possibility that I'm not fully transgender, but rather genderqueer, agender, bi-gender, or anti-gender and that the only reason I would consider transition is because being gender non-conforming with a male body is so stigmatized. But those euphoric flashes are associated entirely with the concept of "girl." Just typing that feels good. Girl girl girl girl girl. So, I'm hoping saying "I'M TRANS!" a few times will loosen my stranglehold on my emotions. This thread seemed like as good a place as any to start.
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  #56  
Old 12-09-2013, 06:24 PM
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Good. I will read if you write more. I am a cisgendered woman who IDs as genderqueer, and my gf is trans (a transwoman).

I've seen first hand how having the wrong genitalia can affect sexual activities.
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miss pixi, 37
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  #57  
Old 12-10-2013, 01:44 AM
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I don't feel like I have the wrong genitalia; I feel like I've had the wrong childhood in the wrong society. I like my dick. Of course, it's clear I'm in denial about a lot of things, so who knows?
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  #58  
Old 12-10-2013, 05:04 AM
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Garriguette Garriguette is offline
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I don't feel like I have the wrong genitalia; I feel like I've had the wrong childhood in the wrong society. I like my dick. Of course, it's clear I'm in denial about a lot of things, so who knows?
That is so beautifully stated.

Self-knowledge is a great thing. We might not know each other, but I wish you all the best in whatever you decide is best for you.
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  #59  
Old 12-12-2013, 04:59 PM
scarletzinnia scarletzinnia is offline
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I had a long-distance relationship partner who had this issue. He was fine with his wife, but he was unable to get and sustain an erection with me until after we had spent four weekends together.

He has low testosterone, but he was being treated for that when we met. I suspect that his treatment might have been somehow insufficient during our first few months together. He was basically functional after our fourth weekend together, but he never had what I'd call an active libido. I suspect he has some performance anxiety too and is just more comfortable with his wife.

I would recommend getting your testosterone levels checked. And even if your doctor says you're fine, find out your levels and do some research, since sometimes, what a lab says is within the normal range is not ideal for a particular individual. If you do think you are low, seeing a urologist would be the next step.

If the woman you really like, really cares about you too, she will hang in there while you figure this out. You sound like a very giving lover with a lot to offer. Good luck!
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  #60  
Old 12-13-2013, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post


I would recommend getting your testosterone levels checked. u do think you are low, seeing a urologist would be the next step.
!
SZ, sometimes it really helps to read to the end of the thread... The OP has realized they are transgendered.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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