Hi everyone. I am sort of new to this. Well, actually, I kind of just stop beating myself up for how I think I really am. I have had issues with being faithful to people in the past. Sometimes, there were underlying issues, not enough attention at home, incompatibility, was in love with someone else, etc.... I was brought up to think that a relationship was supposed to be between a man and a woman.....then it evolved into ok, gay and lesbian relationships are fine too, I am not a tool for Christians anymore, got more into Wicca when I was a teen. I still held on for the longest that I in particular was only supposed to be in love with one person at a time. I am nearly 28 years old, and I no longer think this is true for me. This is kind of a rant, sorry, but I am a little strapped for time.
About a year ago, I met a sweet, interesting, funny, so awesome and in tune with my mind and energy guy you could imagine. Bad thing is.......I was already in a relationship, I have two children. :/
My partner and I are pretty open minded people, I told him how I felt about my friend, he was pretty upset, it almost cost us our relationship, but we didn't really want the relationship to end because we still love each other. So here were are working through it. I still want to have a relationship with my friend as well. We have other friends who do the poly thing. We have never done it before. I have been in love with my other friend for more than a year now, he feels the same about me. We have all talked about the poly thing. Me/my partner Me/my friend. Not all of us together. I think they are afraid of their reactions to each other or something. My partner has expressed that he wants to talk to him about it and that he thinks it selfish of him to think that I should only love him in this life. He says he just can't deal with a physical relationship right now. We have been together for nearly 5 years, own our home, cars....etc....we do everything together in other words, but we are not married. Sigh.........right now I am just respecting everyone's wishes, waiting......wanting.
My partner allows me to spend some time with my friend which I am grateful for. I get to go out the movies or have lunch or dinner with him sometimes. I know in a successful poly relationship as I have been reading up on.......communication and openness and love are the keys. Maybe one day it'll be ok for me. I am glad I have stopped beating myself up for having these feelings though.