Originally Posted by ferrishmatt
Earlier on in the relationship we had a couple breakups because of what you were describing.
Wow, I've had something similar happen as well... boyfriend's partner decided that she was unhappy seeing us together, and i flipped.. because i was doing everything i possibly could (as the OP seems to be doing) not to step on her toes. and we really got along on our own she just couldn't deal with the relationship for a time, and it was very painful. boyfriend and *i* almost broke up over fights that started with these problems and spiraled out of control.
Things are starting to look up now, but at the time it was a nightmare.
Alhena, i say hang in there, be as polite as possible and try to do what she needs (even if it keeps changing around).. i have found that if you stick around and prove yourself to be a 'real' person in the partners life and not just a phase, you do gain respect and trust over time.