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  #31  
Old 06-26-2012, 12:14 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by threesnocrowd View Post
I really love watching her enjoy herself and really get into the moment. Maybe I'm nuts, I have no idea. Thoughts?
You're not nuts-- I thought I'd just explained the biological underpinnings of this desire. We are all hardwired to have multiple sexual partners. It takes a whole lot of social conditioning, religious programming and brainwashing, forceful deterrents, and even outright LAWS, to combat these natural urges for more than one partner.

Take a look at bonobo chimps and how promiscuous they are. We share 98.5 of our DNA with them.

The only reason women in our society are required to have one, and only one, male partner is to control their fertility so her mate can be sure he isn't raising another man's child. This is only necessary in patriarchal societies.

We've lived under this yoke long enough.

In an ideal polyamorous configuration, any child that resulted from coitus between the woman and any of her men would be raised as the group's child, taken care of, financially supported. Whether it was this or that man's semen that cause the pregnancy wouldn't matter one bit. The love and connection of the adults involved would trump whose sperm cause the conception.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
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  #32  
Old 06-26-2012, 12:28 PM
Dreamy Dreamy is offline
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To take it one step further, IMO many males evolved to feel ok with another man being more powerful. They are so-called beta males. They accept they're not at the top of the pecking order. They might still hide this fact in many situations, since society tends to look down on "weaker" males. But IMO they are absolutely necessary. In a society with too many alpha males, there would be violence as they try and fight for the most desired females. Being a beta male would be smart. Letting the other man win, but ensuring your own survival by not challenging him.

Even farther than that, I've seen some men online who prefer their spouse/GF mates with a top male. Sexually it turns them on, and sometimes it's their fetish, where it's the main turn on, and everything else does not to that extent. This makes sense too, in an evolutionary sense, though so few men can embrace it. For one thing, it's helping survival of the entire tribe/community instead of survival of their own little dyad. But secondly, it does help their smaller unit. Given that he is weaker in some ways, he could raise a child that has much better genetics than his own, if she mates with the very strong male. The child, when it gets older, would end up helping him (and his wife) survive. In addition, he could later father one or more children genetically, once the family was stronger from the alpha male's children.

Disclaimer: Most of this I must have read or heard from others, but some is probably my own corruption Never heard that last part that I can remember.
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  #33  
Old 06-26-2012, 02:01 PM
threesnocrowd threesnocrowd is offline
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I suppose there is no getting around our evolutionary biology and the reality of there being more and less dominant men (and women). But it just feels so good having a woman with another man. Everything about it. The visuals, the smells, the feel. the expressions, the afterglow. Maybe it's just all hardwired neurotransmitters but damn it feels very real and I guess I'm a little surprised more men (and women) are not involved in polyandrous relationships. Do you think that more dominant women prefer to have more sexual partners?
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  #34  
Old 06-26-2012, 11:36 PM
butterflywaterfall butterflywaterfall is offline
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Ok, that's way too scientific for me, lol.

And to answer your question, no I don't think you're nuts. Although I am very new to this. In my extensive scholarly reading on sex (doing the Groucho Marx eyebrow wiggle right now) one of the most profound things I read lately was when it comes to sex, you and your partner make your own rules. As long as you're open and honest with one another, it doesn't matter if your sex life is the same as the next couple's. It's about you (plural). Oh, that was from Glamour magazine.
(I really have read a bunch about sex; Glamour's monthly 'you're not gonna believe this awesome sex move!' articles are old hat for me, lol)
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  #35  
Old 06-27-2012, 01:06 AM
wildflowers wildflowers is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by threesnocrowd View Post
And if you are ever in the same situation where you are with another man and your husband/bf is watching - how does it make you feel that he enjoys watching you make love to another man?

Am I nuts...?
This definitely doesn't appeal to everyone! You aren't nuts, and my response isn't disapproving of how you feel, but this has no appeal for me (female) whatsoever. I'm not a voyeur, I'm not an exhibitionist, and when I have sex it's for me and the partner I'm with. If that yields nice fantasies for another partner, that can be a benefit for him, but I don't really even want to know about it, and I certainly don't want an extra partner present.
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  #36  
Old 06-27-2012, 01:56 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
In an ideal polyamorous configuration, any child that resulted from coitus between the woman and any of her men would be raised as the group's child, taken care of, financially supported. Whether it was this or that man's semen that cause the pregnancy wouldn't matter one bit. The love and connection of the adults involved would trump whose sperm cause the conception.

This is an interesting concept, but I don't think it could work in reality. As much as I love my girl, and also support her need to have another man in her life, I don't think I could consent to her having his child. She lives with me, and therefore the day to day love and care that child would need, would be down to us. I do love and care for a boy who is not biologically mine already, and I do treat, and love him as my own Son. I feel that what your suggesting is different though. I wonder how common it is?

My girl has expressed a desire to have another child within two or three years, and it does mean a lot to me also. I guess it will be up to her to decide which one of us she wants to impregnate her. It is something we have talked about and she has told me that she would only want a child with me. It's a while off though, so we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
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  #37  
Old 06-30-2012, 03:12 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Dude and I both have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, and, although MrS is not much of a voyeur I know that enjoys seeing me experience so much pleasure, and suspect Dude feels they same way. During our threesomes, when they happen, they will often trade off - one being more "active" and the other watching and "assisting". During these sessions I am often so lost in the moment that I am not aware of the "being watched" part (or even who is doing what). And I don't think that "cuckolding", as I understand it, comes into play in our dynamic at all - no one should be feeling humiliated or forced in any way.

When MrS and I have had threesomes with other women I think there was more of the voyeurism at play - i.e. he was aroused by watching two women together in addition to his joy in my pleasure. I know that when I am with a woman and someone is watching the experience is much different then when we are alone - the fact that he is turned on by seeing us together is stimulating in a different way, but at the same time we are aware we are playing for an audience - so the experience is more "fun fucking" than "intimate lovemaking."

I've enjoyed watching MrS play with some of my female partners in the past - but only, I think, because these are women that we both know and trust and I am involved as well. At the same time I like seeing these girls "working their magic" - girls are just so damn sexy! So when I'm watching MrS it feels like compersion, and when I am watching the woman it feels more like a caring sort of voyeurism.

For the record, and to cover all the possibilities - I don't think I would enjoy watching two men together (both of my boys are straight so this doesn't come into play) but enjoy watching two women together. Hmmm.

JaneQ

As an aside - my lesbian friend likes to watch gay MALE porn - go figure!
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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