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View Poll Results: What are your views on porn?
I think that some porn is good and I watch some. 19 70.37%
I think that some porn is alright 4 14.81%
I think that porn is bad, but like an addict, I can't help watching some. 1 3.70%
I think that porn is bad and don't go near the stuff 0 0%
Other (please specify in replies to thread) 3 11.11%
Voters: 27. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21  
Old 06-29-2012, 02:08 AM
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Originally Posted by kbrooks View Post
I think even though I like watching it, porn in general is created within a framework of majority -isms and -supremacies. Porn enables and reinforces them, even if the porn in question isn't mainstream porn.

-isms affected:

sexism (attitudes around unconsensual dominance / submissiveness: boy dominates, girl submits. A MUST for them to do)
racism (only shows white people)
heterosexism (either only shows straight people, or copies what straight people do)

-supremacies affected:

male supremacy (shows male attitudes that entirely dominate the scene of porn, e.g. kissing just being 'foreplay')
cis supremacy (not very many trans* in porn)
I think there's a lot of bad things in a fair amount of porn, but that there's also some good porn and we have to help that good porn grow, laugh :-)
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  #22  
Old 06-29-2012, 02:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Mudita View Post
I'm more for user submitted videos than porn, produced movies look like people having bad sex to me.
Almost always, I agree with this; if there isn't some spontaneity in what's going in, I pretty much can't get into it. That said, as long as there's some spontaneity, I'm ok with one or both parties getting paid to do their thing...

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Originally Posted by Mudita View Post
What's interesting is how people are now mimicking porn in their own sex which is a bit of a worry.
Nods... well, I think the main problem here is if the only sex educator is porn... you get what you pay for type thing; our sex ed is still woefully lacking -.-

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Originally Posted by Mudita View Post
No question there is a lot of exploitation and generally unattractive things about the whole industry but I think this is a product of societies repressive attitude towards sex rather than anything inherently wrong with porn. You'd have to think the explosion of porn will make sex a bit less taboo and hopefully this will feed back into the kind of porn that gets produced.
Agreed.

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Originally Posted by Mudita View Post
Hopefully if people lose some of their hangups about sex, they might lose some of their hangups about sexual exclusivity as well...
Aye :-). Porn and webcam sites may become (or perhaps already is to some extent) a gateway to thinking outside the box when it comes to relationship models.
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  #23  
Old 06-29-2012, 02:14 AM
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Originally Posted by km34 View Post
I don't really agree that consent has to be obvious in the film itself. Some BDSM play and such doesn't have visual consent during the act - it is pre-discussed. So, films portraying that sort of interaction would want to have a true feel to it.
Yeah.. I'm not not a fan of BDSM, lol :-). Reluctance is as far as I go :-p.

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Originally Posted by km34 View Post
What about rape fantasies? Making a porn that portrays a fake rape isn't actually rape. It's someone agreeing to act like he/she is being violated while actually engaging in a consensual sex act for the camera.

I have no desire to watch either of those kinds of porn, but I don't have a problem with them being made and put out there for people who enjoy watching that kind of stuff.
Well, to me this is a thorn issue; put rather simply; why would people get off on this? I've talked to some people (men and women) who believe that something may not be quite right in their sexual desires and no one has yet persuaded me that this can't be the case...

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Originally Posted by km34 View Post
Oh, and the Pirates ones I mentioned earlier -

Pirates XXX and Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge are fairly well-made films - they actually released versions that were rated R by taking out the sex scenes. Not a movie I'd watch just because (I mean, porn actors aren't really known for their ability to act in non-sexual scenes), but good.
Thanks, think I'll go take a look at those links :-)
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  #24  
Old 06-29-2012, 03:36 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Definitely. Ofcourse now I want to know what you'd categorize as soft and what you'd categorize as hard, laugh :-). But I understand that may be a tad too personal ;-).
It changes over time. For instance that answer for me as a teen was a different answer for me in my late 30s. And though in late 20's before and after the experience of pregnancy it got to similar places, WHILE actually pregnant and later nursing that changed the spectrum analysis for me.

DH and I look back fondly at how weird preggo sex was -- it seemed to be all about slow motion and liberal application of pillows everywhere. LOL.

I don't see a big change in 40's but I'm sure my 50's, 60's and 70's will yield other perspectives on that spectrum too. Bodies change, age, and as people our tastes also change, age, evolve. etc.

The softest eros/erotic is probably a touch on the hand in a loverly way. Even a 12 year old can manage that -- and hand holding is often among the first expressions of one to another that is NOT your family. Vaginal or anal fisting is going to be in another place on the spectrum, no?

Touching your lover with a feather or end of a scarf over the eyes gently is on the softer end of tactile play than whips and chains, right?

It's all spectrum.

And it also changes with the partner in question. For instance, with DH? After twenty years together? I go into all kinds of corners of his/my eros. Light or dark. It's all good. But I don't kiss and tell. Too often anyway. HA! ;D

I would not be so keen to go all over the map with a brand new lover -- some things can only come with time clocked. Clock the time, then we'll see. Build up along the journey, build deeper connection, trust, then we'll see where it goes on THAT relationship's spectrum. Everyone has their preferences.

I am disturbed by some friends in their early 20s who seem to have the strangest view of sex... like they're supposed to be porn stars or something and when they come to find they are NOT, feel inadequate. Sex ed needs to happen for these young people HARDER than ever because they go looking up all kinds of crazy online. More parents and churches need to get on board with that like with Our Whole Lives curricula. They are leaving the kids out in the cold and without clear critical thinking of the erotic materials (soft or hard) that they access.

JMHO.

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Originally Posted by Scott View Post
Lol :-). It seems from what you're saying that you are therefore.. lesbian?
Bi, married to stray man, closed at this time.

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Originally Posted by Scott View Post
Had a look there.. didn't really see a list of movies to see.. probably just couldn't find the right link there.
That explains what feminist porn awards ARE. For shopping list, you scoot over to the movies and there's a subcategory for the past award winning titles.

http://goodforher.com/catalog/adultd..._award_winners

No, do not see it too often in porn -- cast/crew commentary. Would elevate it a bit if it DID. But there are some few here and there that try.

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-29-2012 at 03:13 PM.
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  #25  
Old 06-29-2012, 06:42 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Let's see, a few thoughts on the thread:

The only porn star whose name I know is Buck Angel (I know of him from reading about him in Dan Savage's column, but I haven't watched his stuff because I'm very penis-oriented).

I don't think lack of consent is a problem. I think people have these fantasies, and it's good to have a safe outlet for them. Roleplaying is another outlet, but it does require a certain amount of trust, and a partner with similar fantasies or willing to play along. Lack of consent sometimes can be kind of a turn on for me, because of the idea that the other person is so attracted that they can't resist. However, in concept I don't like it so much, so I prefer...

...Incest stories. More specifically, between siblings. Now, incest itself doesn't appeal to me, either, I have no interest in roleplaying anything like that for instance. But in stories, written stories more specifically, this kind of taboo allows for consenting characters to still have a strong obligation not to have sex... and then see their attraction to each other beat that. To me, it's very erotic, the idea that someone would be so turned on that their human brains stops working for a bit, they forget about consequences, and they can't stay off each other.
I also like other similar scenarios, for instance a student seducing a teacher. But I prefer siblings, or cheating stories for instance, because the partners are on the same level this way, rather than one having power over the other.
The parts I prefer are when one person seduces the other, especially knowingly. A little bit of accidental seducing is fine (you put on your swimming outfit, other person can't help but be aroused and tries to hide it), but it's when it's done on purpose, teasing and playing, that I find it hottest.

So to me, porn often doesn't reflect things that are doable or that I'd even want to do if they were doable.

I usually don't find that porn is better than nothing... Well, it depends what you means, really. Most days I masturbate to my own self-made porn, with people I know and am attracted to, in situations I would actually want to happen. These are more fulfilling on an emotional level while just as pleasurable.
Porn is for when I'm aroused but not for anyone in particular, and that happens to me much less often.
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  #26  
Old 06-29-2012, 11:55 AM
JynLove JynLove is offline
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Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
Well, there is the perspective that porn perpetuates the objectification of people for sexual gratification, whereas adult toys actually ARE objects, so no harm done. I don't necessarily agree with that perspective, but views on the two subjects aren't necessarily similar.
Yes, but many choose to be objectify themselves. Some even enjoy it. So when that is the case, in the end pornography is just another sex toy.

I say as respectfully as I can because I am not an argumentitive type person lol.
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  #27  
Old 06-29-2012, 01:27 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I think the problem is only non-consensual objectification, and that consensual objectification is fine, and a lot of fun. I don't know how much watching porn with consensual (for the actors) objectification leads to objectifying (without consent) your sexual partners, but I don't think the blame should be put on the porn, which is a tool.
I believe it's possible to use sex toys and then expect similar things in sex, using the other person's body for your gratification without caring about theirs. So I don't believe the problem is specific to porn, I think it's specific to disrespectful, uncaring partners.
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  #28  
Old 06-29-2012, 03:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott View Post
Definitely. Ofcourse now I want to know what you'd categorize as soft and what you'd categorize as hard, laugh :-). But I understand that may be a tad too personal ;-).
It changes over time. For instance that answer for me as a teen was a different answer for me in my late 30s. And though in late 20's before and after the experience of pregnancy, WHILE actually pregnant and later nursing that changed the spectrum analysis for me.

DH and I look back fondly at how weird preggo sex was -- it seemed to be all about slow motion and liberal application of pillows everywhere. LOL.
Lol :-). That's so cool to know though; I wasn't really sure what happened while pregnant, other then that sex was still possible; now I know -.-

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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I don't see a big change in 40's but I'm sure my 50's, 60's and 70's will yield other perspectives on that spectrum too. Bodies change, age, and as people our tastes also change, age, evolve. etc.
Nods.

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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
The softest eros/erotic is probably a touch on the hand in a loverly way. Even a 12 year old can manage that -- and hand holding is often among the first expressions of one to another that is NOT your family. Vaginal or anal fisting is going to be in another place on the spectrum, no?
Definitely, laugh :-). Will be back, gotta do something, lol :-)
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  #29  
Old 06-29-2012, 03:25 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Lol :-). That's so cool to know though; I wasn't really sure what happened while pregnant, other then that sex was still possible; now I know -.-
Well, pretty much everything that happens normally. But going slow to check in more often and having lots of support pillows is an added bonus. And that's not all. Later in pregnancy, the Peanut would wake up and COMPLAIN that mom is having an orgasm. Stretch out, kick whatever. It was amusing to think about what that must be like : Minding your own business taking a snooze in the cozy dark and then your whole world being all shook up! Later breastmilk spraying when extremely aroused or orgasms happened -- that was interesting.

Oh, so much fun! A different kind of intimacy with a lover while pregnant. Cada epoca tiene su encanto -- Every epoch (or stage or season) has its enchantments (or charms.)

There's a line of pregnant porn out there somewhere -- for some people that's a thing.

Not a thing of mine, but I did enjoy being pregnant and that stage of life. There really is nothing new under the sun. People are people, and where there's people sooner or later there's sex and it's many expressions.


GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-29-2012 at 03:30 PM.
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  #30  
Old 06-29-2012, 03:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I'll start by saying I am 57 years old and have seen old school porn, as in old Playboy magazines, up to today's stuff all over the net.

I've always had a really good imagination and I prefer that to porn for masturbation. My sister and I used to sneak peeks at my dad's badly hidden Playboys back in our preteen years. I think maybe that is where my bisexual nature started, since women are the sexual bodies depicted in the magazines.

I've never needed porn to get off, as I've pretty much always had a willing, horny sexual partner around since I got started at age 16.

Then, when the net started offering porn, I had young children and no time or privacy to peruse porn.

However, when my husband and I separated in '08, I had time to start looking at net porn. However, I preferred clothed or semi-clothed still photos of my 2 favorite movie stars (Eddie Izzard and Johnny Depp) to videos of "strangers."

When I met my gf in early '09, I found she had a big collection of video porn. We'd watch it together sometimes. I liked the BDSM stuff the best. On my own I also found I preferred BDSM porn. Straight vanilla porn is boring to me, usually. I like good porn with transwomen in it, but not the fake "shemale" stuff. That's just sad.

I enjoy looking at Fetlife still photos now and then (havent bothered this year tho). I do like looking at big cocks, and money shots. I like some bukakke porn as well. Female jizz as well as male. I also enjoy pee play porn.

I don't need a plotline in porn videos. My own sexual fantasies have plots I tailor just for myself.

And to respond to rape porn/fantasies: I do enjoy that. The difference is, one controls the "rape" scenario. One can be the rapist or the rapee. Real rape involves kidnapping and threat of injury or death... that would be horrible. (I've been sexually assaulted twice, and my daughter has been once, and it's the complete opposite to a turn-on, just horrible, extremely disempowering and life changing, in a bad way.)

However, now that I have 2 loving partners who are so sexually satisfying, I find I have no desire to look at porn, still photos on FL, or celeb photos. I am either actually having sex with them, or fantasizing about things I've done with them (or with one other past lover who was amazing in the sack), or imagining trying with them, and that's better than the best 2D stuff out there!
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