Originally Posted by Magdlyn
She is quite young, a college student, early 20s at the most? She's got her parents to deal with, lots of schoowork, and she's still trying to figure out who she is, and what she wants in relationships.
Yeah, she's 24 and starting college, so socially always felt even younger (I graduated college when I was 20, so at 30 I really did feel a LOT older than her). I'm definitely seeing that maybe he came on too strong, that I let things proceed a lot faster than I originally intended also. It wasn't intended to be a triad - it was intended to be a V (him me, me her), because we've read all about the various problems that can happen in a triad. But because we'd prefer a triad, when she showed interest in both of us we were all too happy to go for it.
We're definitely going back to the original plan of not introducing new partners to the kids until much later. Before we actually broke up when I just told the kids she wasn't going to be coming over every weekend because she was busy with work and school, most of them were okay, but the 7 year old pounded her fist and said "why why why why why???" (she was the one closest to Juliette). So that's hard, and I should have stuck to the plan, and not let it slide when things seemed to be going so well.
Yup, need to take some steps back and try to learn from this.