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Old 06-28-2012, 12:26 AM
rekkerafthor rekkerafthor is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 7
Default Weird feelings and was I wrong?

So, a little background. My wife and I have been in a poly relationship for about 3 years at this point. We both ended up with a second significant other once we opened the relationship and made a lot of the beginners poly mistakes, with both of our relationships with our secondaries ending about a year after we decided to venture in to poly.

We spent the next year and a half pretty much working on our relationship (my girlfriend proved to be a rather toxic individual and my wife and I had a lot of healing to do after the break up). We are finally at a point where we are ok with having other relationships again.

Now to my question/thinky thoughts.

Since we are now venturing back into the poly world some things that strike me as odd have been going in my brain. My wife has a long distance girlfriend that she's really close to, and that doesn't bother me at all. And a male friend of ours that is married and poly has recently shown interest in her. I've known this guy for a long time and like him. I'm not bothered with him going out with her and starting something either.

So at her birthday party, this guy starts hitting on her at the karaoke bar we are at. I'm not too worried. She ends up leaving with his number that night. They go out a few days later, and then he invites her back to his place the next night. This guy has never had any experience with poly, but he still wants to see my wife two nights in a row. And while it sort of bothered me I couldn't put a finger on why.

So, at the end of the week,she wants to go see him again. And I get really pissy about it, because I still had yet to even meet the guy . And when my wife suggested to him that we all go out for a coffee he decides he is kind of freaked out about it and cancels. My wife and I spend most of the rest of the night processing, and I finally was able to get it out that I just didn't trust him. I had no reason not to, but some THING just screamed this guy might not be the best person to have hanging around.

So I guess my question is this. Was getting upset about my wife going out with a guy that I didn't trust (without a reason to distrust him) unfair of me? They had only been out twice, so it wasn't like they were at the point of starting a relationship. While she assures me she accepts my feelings, I can't help but think I wronged her somehow. Ladies, how would you feel if you were her? Guys, how would you have handled the situation?
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