Oh geez. Aggressively guilting his partner for pointing out his mistakes. That is some Orwellian level bullshit right there. Just because you've decided not to end the marriage, it doesn't mean you have to engage with him as a partner on more than the level of life-logistics. If he wants more, maybe *he* should commit to going to therapy too.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.