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Old 06-27-2012, 02:48 AM
mercury mercury is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ViableAlternative View Post
Last point. While I do feel that it is "wrong" for the girlfriend to have vetoed you, the only person you can blame for your ex-slash-potential-boyfriend's actions and choices is, actually, him. And only him, really. He accepts a veto condition in his relationship. That's his prerogative. Don't villainize her more than him; neither are without responsibility here. I can sympathize with the desire to condemn her because you don't want to be angry at him, but he is entirely responsible for his choices. And that sucks pretty bad.

Sorry you're going through this.... take good care of yourself while you're healing from this hurt.
Thanks for your thoughts! I'll probably respond to other parts of your post later, but just wanted to acknowledge this (the above) now.

I do blame him too.

And I know, ultimately, that obviously he couldn't have wanted me THAT much if he obeyed the veto.

I just remember those wonderful times we had and how much he seemed to want to fall in love when we were together.

But you're right. It's not all her. It's him obeying her, too. And that means he never had any true feelings for me anyway.

All the more reason why I'm better off.

Yet it still stings...
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Tags
agreements, contracts, control issues, envy, jealous, jealousy, metamour concerns, new to poly, nre, relationship dynamics, relationship issues, secondaries, secondary, sex, veto, veto policy, veto power, vetos

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