Open relationships forums

[feelyunicorn]

Originally Posted by km34

Since there isn't an emphasis on a primary or live-in relationship, it would seem to be a singles group. I don't think I've ever met anyone IRL who doesn't have the desire to live with at least one partner at some point.

Nice to meet you. I wouldn`t mind being called "lifestyle single" to distinguish myself from single people who are looking to shack up, but just haven`t met someone who fits the bill yet. Just so you know, there are quite a few of us, and a Facebook group. Unfortunately, it tends toward asexuality.

The reason I prefer 'open' is so that people understand that I have relationships, I have sex. Only they don`t involve sharing each and every day of my life and my living space, nor do they have any ceremonial-symbolic trappings or special labels.

BTW, just to point something out which may have been a misunderstanding, I have absolutely no problem with a primary partner or multiple primary partners, for that matter. In fact, I`d very much like that, so long as I have the right to my personal space.

Tristan Taormino, whom I love, describes it as "solo polyamory", which I think is a mouthful.

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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin

The term "open" is highly overloaded - it means different things to different people, so I really try to avoid using it, because it can often cause more confusion.

Coincidentally, I find the term "love" overloaded and draconian in meaning, hence why I don`t really like the -amory part of the term polyamory.

But, I think now that I`ve split hairs enough , I should point out that this isn`t simply a matter of semantics. The fact is that swingers don`t allow me inside their clubs because I don`t have a wife (and, probably wouldn`t also if I disclosed my bisexuality); and, polys, although significantly more simpatico, still won`t fuck me on the grounds that I don`t want to live with them and their metamours, and have children, and wear a bow tie to the wedding.

In one group I am barred, in the other I am friendzoned. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

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In the end, it means that I have to go back to mono singles, who are just a nightmare because to them feelings and independence cannot coexist.