Over before it began?
A really good friend of mine and Bear's sent an email to both of us last night. Bear has been friends with this guy for more than 20 years and really respects his opinion.
But, before I get there some background...
Bear is an ordained minister. He's let his license lapse and has not been affiliated with a church in a professional manner for several years, but is still very much a follower of Jesus (as am I). He's the kind of person that when someone wants some really serious prayer they call him.
Our friend was a pagan, then a Christian, then a pagan, and is now a Christian again. He's kind of in that honeymoon, everything is black and white, all on fire stage of his Christian journey.
Back to present... In the email he says that he's hurt and disappointed about this decision we've made, even though he's seen it coming. He does admit that his feelings should really have no bearing on what we choose to do in our bedroom, but that he feels that way. His real beef is that he feels that Bear is using scripture to justify this lifestyle. He states that marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; that there was Adam and Eve, not Adam, Eve, and some other woman.
He tells Bear that if he (Bear) wants to be a hedonist that it is his decision to do so but that he needs to be careful of how he justifies it.
I do agree with our friend that Bear is trying to use scripture to back up this choice, and honestly, while I haven't addressed it, I don't agree with Bear's reasonings.
However, I have no problem with "alternate" forms of marriage. I support polygamy, gay marriage, polyandry, etc.
So, this is my fear... that Bear is going to spend the morning thinking about this, walk in at lunch and announce that our friend is completely right and that we're done with poly.
This is not acceptable to me.
Call me self-centered, but I want the freedom to pursue relationships with women.
It has taken me a long, long time to get to the point where I have almost accepted my own sexuality as far as being gay. To feel like I'm not an evil, sinful, horrible abomination to my God for desiring and engaging in sexual relationships with women.
Did I mention I was raised Southern Baptist? There are so many ideas, even within the context of Christianity, that are considered major no-nos by the SBC that I have whole-heartedly embraced over the years. For years I referred to myself as a "recovering Baptist". For me that entire sect is more a list of "don'ts" than a list of "dos".
I love my God with all my heart and I have a really hard time believing that he would allow me to born gay and then deny me the happiness of my sexuality.
I won't leave my husband over this issue, but I am really afraid of what he's going to say, what he's going to decide based on what our friend said.
Input on this is appreciated, post it here or send me a message, either one.
Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.
I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP