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View Poll Results: How much of your leisure time is spent interacting with other poly folk?
0-20% 18 60.00%
21-40% 5 16.67%
41-60% 2 6.67%
61-80% 3 10.00%
81-100% 2 6.67%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-16-2012, 04:40 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
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My only socialising with other poly people (that I'm not dating) is the time I spend in these forums. This being said, I would like to go to a poly convention at some point.
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Old 06-16-2012, 04:48 AM
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LotusesandRoses LotusesandRoses is offline
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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
Maybe this is just an impression I have: for the mainstream American mindset, at least, poly is near the bottom of the slippery slope, just above (or next to?) bestiality or, as one especially dense public official would have it, marrying inanimate objects.
I think it depends a lot on presentation.

When I tell people I'm dating more than one person and that I live on my parents' property in a tiny mother-in-law apartment, surprisingly, most older people seem to think it's downright normal.

The worst reactions have been from straight monogamous women who are married, of whom you could not pay me enough to sleep with their husbands.
“Edit yourself, bitch. Edit yourself.” – Chad Michaels
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Old 06-16-2012, 04:39 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
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The only poly socializing I do is here on the forum - I don't know any polyfolk IRL (I started to try to go to a MeetUp but was but off by how much info I had to give to sign up). Currently that comprises a large chunk of my internet time - but that is my usual pattern on the internet: find a forum/site/game, become intensely involved for a period of months, then move on to the next thing, checking back in occasionally to see what the current state is of my old internet obsessions.
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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Old 06-16-2012, 04:43 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Sounds totally familiar, Jane. The same for me. The only poly people I know are virtual. And those where the thing with the child abuse happened ... definitely not the best circle to join.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:35 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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FYI, you could sign up at meet up as Jane Q Smythe, you don't have to be your 'real' self. My local poly group advertised on meet up and I used November Rain to sign up there. AND, you can see their calendar without signing up; I think a lot of groups are 'private'. My local group is also on a facebook group and I participate mostly there. But I had to go to the meeting to find out about, and get in ~ because the fb group is completely private.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
The only poly socializing I do is here on the forum - I don't know any polyfolk IRL (I started to try to go to a MeetUp but was but off by how much info I had to give to sign up).
Interesting questions, hyperskeptic. I knew one couple, self-identified poly. Friends from another fringe social group, and the guy works with CBF. I called him when I was in my first days' hysteria about 'can I really have two boyfriends?' He was very reassuring, mostly by telling me I'm smart and capable. He and his gf are unicorn hunters, and were in a phase of giving up. (I sent them the link to the fb unicorn group that was posted here a while ago)

So, most of my poly socializing is online. However, I met one terrific friend (and her tangle) FROM HERE. Right in polyamory.com. With a capital P and that rhymes with T and that stands for TROUBLE. Not really (I saw Music Man last weekend).

When I discovered I was bi, and shortly after, the gay community (way back before it was even dreamed of being called LGBQTXYZ), I decided that 'bisexuality' was not enough in common for me to hang out in identified 'bi' groups. Sex was just not the biggest interest in my life. And back then, I wasn't hearing enough talk about love to keep me interested.

Dropping into the poly community, feels very similar to me in the way I dropped into the gay community. However, it's a much broader focus, and it is pretty far off the mainstream, so I very much enjoy participating, increasing my participation and just being able to be with other polyfolk. It's really nice to say 'my boyfriends' without having to go into the long explanation, or having to defend it.

I doubt I would be happy living in any exclusive community.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 06-23-2012, 09:09 PM
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KitWalker KitWalker is offline
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Posts: 27

I am sure I socialize with some poly people. However, I don't really know who most of them are. See, folks don't necessarily advertise this. No convenient shirts, badges, or tattoos.

I do know a couple of my acquaintances are poly. However, I have never talked about it with them because I am not really interested in them romantically and I haven't really found another reason to bring it up.
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Old 06-24-2012, 01:17 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,340

How would I even know they are poly? Not all of them are OUT to people.

I probably bump into polys undercover all the time but don't know it.

For all I know my cashier at the grocery is poly. I don't care because... she checks my groceries out and I go home?

I don't attend meetings or anything -- I'm not looking to date or seeking or anything. I enjoy online forums just cause I like to talk!

So unless we've been friends for years and I already just know because we've been friends for years?

I just wouldn't know what percentage to put.

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