Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 07-30-2011, 08:02 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,108
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gspang4207 View Post
I have told my partner that I would be open to new adventures in our relationship, but it is very important to be me that we do this together and build it on trust and honesty, both of which he needs to repair with me.
Beautifully expressed. This is very open-minded and mature -- and rebuilding trust is essential.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-01-2012, 06:48 PM
Redbreast Redbreast is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1
Default Gary...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gspang4207 View Post
Hi everyone...
I am new to this site...

I am really struggling with my relationship right now. I am a gay male in a relationship with my partner for over 5 years. We have recently decided to open our relationship, not due to any problems or issues, but I think for some excitement.

My partner has become friends with another guy. I have known about the friendship and have even hung out with the guy on occasion. I have recently discovered that they have fallen in love with each other. At first I was shocked, felt lied to, deceived, hurt....all those types of emotions. As I have thought more about this, I can come to an understanding of why and how.

Through our talks about this situation, my partner has told me that he remains completely devoted to me and wants to be with me. I feel the same way, we are in love with each other and we have that connection...

He has also stated in a perfect world, he would like to love both of us and have a poly relationship. I am very open minded and would be willing to try this, but I am struggling with the point that they already have a bond together, that I do not have with this guy. So, I would need to get to know him and what not. I have thought about this with my partner and have laid some ground rules until the 3 of us can come together and talk. Basically, they cannot tell each other they love each other for now. My partner has to be completely honest with me from this point forward, or else our relationship will not be able to continue. We have to be able to talk to each other and express our feelings without being judged. My partner cannot hang out with this guy alone, until we talk, and if we can work this out, come to an understanding.

So this is where we are. Here it is 4am, I cannot sleep because I am worried about my relationship and how all of this could work. I really need some advice here...My partner has stated that he is in love with this guy and would be very upset if I asked him to discontinue the friendship...I don't want to do that, I want to be ok with this, but I am not sure I am strong enough.

Thank you for reading...
It's me in Naples. I'd like to communicate with you. Please write to me: thisrealneed@yahoo.com Hope to hear from you.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-10-2012, 02:06 PM
SunsetMan's Avatar
SunsetMan SunsetMan is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Saskatoon, SK
Posts: 28
Default

I feel like this situation is very similar to my own. I did make a LONG post about it, but I fear I was mostly rambling. I might have to come back at some point when I've had sleep and food and re-write the whole thing.

The biggest difference is that my fiancee and our mutual online friend have not taken anything physical. She's come to me to discuss this before it gets that far. Granted, it feels out of control.

I've never been very good at taking care of #1 and this is hitting me hard as well. But having seen that these things can and do work out, this gives me hope.

Closetpoly has some great advice that applies to my situation, thanks for that.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
homosexual, opening a relationship

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:23 AM.