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  #21  
Old 06-10-2012, 02:59 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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I'm not too familiar with Reid, and haven't been able to make too many (read any) conferences as yet. The cozy relationship between organizers is an interesting bit though.

I have been invited by proxy though to similar cuddle parties through some of the poly folk in Calgary. To date it hasn't been timely enough for me to make a decision about whether to try attendance or not. Freetime has spoken highly of them though.

I try not to be judgmental about things like ick factor and whatnot as I figure it's one of those things that's best left to every individual's own discretion. My personal feeling is that I'm generally wound way too tight and sensitive about my own personal space, that I have significant doubts that I would actually enjoy the experience. (Pretty much the same reason that I doubt I'll be jumping into an orgy anytime soon) But that's my shit to deal with.


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Originally Posted by drtalon View Post
I attended Reid's session at Loving More 2011 in Phila, and thought it was very good. That didn't include anything cuddle-related, but did include parts about consent and overcoming our own fears and shame about what we might want. I can see how some aspects of the cuddle-party concept are extensions of that.
This has been one thing about the cuddle parties that has me most intrigued, and why I think the experience, if it is as advertised, could be a very positive learning experience for a lot of people...not just poly's. The communications surrounding consent, asking for what you want, and particularly how to say "no" to the things you don't, as well as hearing and complying with those requests; I see no disadvantage to developing these skills no matter what lovestyle one lives.

If these events are indeed a forum for working on those skills and there's heavy interest by a segment of the community, I fail to see a problem with them being included as a part of poly-centric activities.
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  #22  
Old 06-10-2012, 05:02 AM
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Tuppence a little late in the thread, but... I couldn't do a cuddle party because I'd walk away wondering what fresh microbe I'd just picked up. I'm a tidge envious of people who can catch colds/flus and not flinch; I'm useless for a week to ten days, and likely to be in intense pain during the height of the illness. (Fibro, you SUCK.) So my crappy immune system counts me out. I'd say that's a reasonable hard limit to have.

Otherwise, my main objection is that one man's cuddle is another man's surreptitious grope. If I feel it's inevitable that someone's just getting his jollies, and I'm also squicked by random hard-ons, I should probably not be paying to insert myself into that situation. Especially as I'm broke. I'd rather go to a club, where at least I can dance and have a drink if I like. Same risks to my health! More obvious expectations. Hard-ons are okay if I'm dancing with him, you know? But not if it's just a puppy pile, which, ew, infantilizing much? And crossing kiddie pursuits with adult ones is not what we need as a community. God, the slippery-slope nuts would have a field day.
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  #23  
Old 06-10-2012, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
Tuppence a little late in the thread, but... I couldn't do a cuddle party because I'd walk away wondering what fresh microbe I'd just picked up. I'm a tidge envious of people who can catch colds/flus and not flinch; I'm useless for a week to ten days, and likely to be in intense pain during the height of the illness. (Fibro, you SUCK.) So my crappy immune system counts me out. I'd say that's a reasonable hard limit to have.

Otherwise, my main objection is that one man's cuddle is another man's surreptitious grope. If I feel it's inevitable that someone's just getting his jollies, and I'm also squicked by random hard-ons, I should probably not be paying to insert myself into that situation. Especially as I'm broke. I'd rather go to a club, where at least I can dance and have a drink if I like. Same risks to my health! More obvious expectations. Hard-ons are okay if I'm dancing with him, you know? But not if it's just a puppy pile, which, ew, infantilizing much? And crossing kiddie pursuits with adult ones is not what we need as a community. God, the slippery-slope nuts would have a field day.
I really don't understand where the paedophilia comes into this at all... I'm similarly bothered by other people and their dirtiness though. Even though, rather oddly, I'd be plenty fine with my own lovely coming down with the flu, and still want to cuddle with her. ^_^ The touching up with people I don't know is my main problem. I feel awkward just talking to some strangers. others just seem to make me feel comfortable right away with some kind of voodoo magic... XD Like I met my current partner at a gig, where I was avoising contact with most people. But she came up to me and asked to plait my hair. and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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  #24  
Old 06-10-2012, 03:05 PM
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I too don't understand where pedophilia comes in. I love cuddling, with my friends, my cat, my son, and my loves. Since when is cuddling a kiddie pursuit? Are we supposed to out grow that desire when we grow up? If no, I never got the memo.
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  #25  
Old 06-10-2012, 03:27 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I hug way more now than I did as a kid. Maybe they meant the term "puppy pile" is the childish part?
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  #26  
Old 06-10-2012, 10:31 PM
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I love cuddling. BrigidsDaughter likes to say I came with the cuddle expansion preimstalled. I also don't get sick very often, so that's never a consideration for me. When I do get sick it keeps me down for a day or two at most.
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  #27  
Old 06-10-2012, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post
I really don't understand where the paedophilia comes into this at all...
It doesn't. You just introduced the term right now in your post.

The comment was about how infantile the idea of a puppy pile is. It had nothing to do with having sex with children.
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  #28  
Old 06-11-2012, 06:29 AM
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If I didn't know many people I could be cuddly with, I'd be glad to have access to something like this, as touch is so important. Luckily I have quite a few people I'm close to on a day to day basis, so the idea of cuddling with strangers doesn't sound very appealing. It just depends on how hungry for affection someone is, and at this point in my life (in contrast to when I was in grade school and early in college) I'm quite happily sated.
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  #29  
Old 06-11-2012, 06:52 AM
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"Cuddle party" and "puppy pile" both sound very young, yes. That is problematic to me.

Touch can be great! Touch is therapeutic! I once slept on a bed with several people because I was terrified of what the night was going to bring (switching meds, ugh). I have also happily sprawled across several friends while watching TV. It is what it is; it was what it was, more like. The need for a special name at all makes little sense to me.
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  #30  
Old 06-11-2012, 05:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunicWolf View Post
I love cuddling. BrigidsDaughter likes to say I came with the cuddle expansion preimstalled. I also don't get sick very often, so that's never a consideration for me. When I do get sick it keeps me down for a day or two at most.
I am a big fan of the cuddle expansion. Though it didn't come pre-installed in Wendigo. It actually took several months to install, must have had a big update or something.
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