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  #11  
Old 06-07-2012, 04:28 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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Originally Posted by herxonlyxhope View Post
Hey, thanks for the support and the interesting conversation. What I really mean is something like polyamory, well it really is polyamory, but more specific. More like 3 people who want to be in a monogomous relationship with each other. Kinda off there but I'm sure you get the point, lol.
I didn't join the group 1. because not all of my friends/family on FB know about my lifestyle preferences and 2. my husband and I have no desire for a closed triad. A triad where none of us are actively looking, sure, but neither of us have ever had the notion that we should expect people to stop being open to new people/experiences just because they are with me, him, or us.

So, I am an open-minded bi woman who is excluded from this group. lol And I'm okay with that.

Best of luck to you! I really hope this resource helps its members find what they are looking for, whether it be love or support or both.
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  #12  
Old 06-07-2012, 05:55 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herxonlyxhope View Post
Hey, thanks for the support and the interesting conversation. What I really mean is something like polyamory, well it really is polyamory, but more specific. More like 3 people who want to be in a monogomous relationship with each other. Kinda off there but I'm sure you get the point, lol.
Yes, we know what you mean I would say that the majority of people who come here looking for a relationship describe exactly that. (It's called a closed triad by the way, when there are 3 partners who are all involved with each other and don't see anyone else.)
Mind you, of the people who actually ARE in relationships, this is a minority. Bisexual females interested in that kind of relationship are most of the time paired with a man, and more rarely alone, which is why the alone bisexual female who wants a relationship with a man and a woman at a same time (but is ready to accept that she's "the new one" in the relationship while the other two have more experience together) is usually called a Unicorn (because they're very rare. Although unlike unicorns, they do exist).

Hopefully your group will help people find one another, as it seems like a difficult relationship dynamics to achieve (from personal second hand experience of people trying to achieve the relationships vs people who manage to find one).
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  #13  
Old 06-07-2012, 03:07 PM
Surfcouple Surfcouple is offline
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Cool we know exactly what you're talking about! Were a married couple looking for a bisexual female to form a 3 way relationship. Werent aware it was called unicorn hunting but we do now we live in central florida I'm not having much luck finding like minded girls, most of them are weird psycho and everybody are just swingers around here. Hardly anyone in our area understands the difference between polyamory and being a "swinger" good luck to you and your group. We're hoping the right girl will come along for us 1 day
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  #14  
Old 06-07-2012, 03:51 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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As has been said elsewhere, single bisexual females who want to have an exclusive romantic relationship with both members of an established couple are exceedingly rare, and are in tremendous demand. That's not just in Florida, that is everywhere, based on what I have seen on poly fora over the years.

So any couple that is searching for this is going to have to work really hard at finding, and interesting a prospective partner - they are not out there simply waiting for the next couple to come along - they can afford to be extremely picky because they have such a large choice.

I have been trying to help these folsk in the poly ads to try to show more about themselves that might make a suitable candidate have interest, because so many are surprised that an ad worded like "We are a loving couple looking for a lady to join our marriage" (i.e. essentially the same wording that everyone else puts out there) doesn't get available bisexual females falling over each other to reply...

Like any sales or marketing task, you have to know your market and your position in your market. So many are totally unaware of that, and react with extreme hostility when that reality is brought to their attention.
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  #15  
Old 06-10-2012, 12:17 AM
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Dahlia6669 Dahlia6669 is offline
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Hi everyone, me and my bf are so new to all of this and I find all so confusing. It is true that looking for a unicorn is a fantasy. We have been looking for a long time now and I'm not very confidant in the search thus far. I just don't know what to do. and this is what we really want..
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  #16  
Old 06-10-2012, 02:46 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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It happens but it is rare.
It is hard to find someone you fall in love with and who falls in love with you.
It is harder when you are looking for someone to fall in love with both of you, at the same time, and who you'll both fall in love with, at the same time.

I've heard of more Vees turning into triads than triads starting that way, I believe. That is, one partner had a girlfriend, who eventually became close to the other partner as well.

You can keep looking, but it's going to be intimidating for a bi girl to be faced with two people at once and have to deal with two relationships at once. That's why it's more likely she will, or already has, find a boyfriend first. As a result, most of the bi females wanting a triad are already paired with a boyfriend. Since the boyfriend is usually not fine with his girlfriend dating other males, two couples cannot become two triads (the two females being with each other and both with both males), which otherwise would probably have higher odds of finding someone.
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  #17  
Old 06-10-2012, 04:13 AM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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I gotta say that making a whole group just for one's target population is a creative new hunting tactic. Props for originality. I should set up a "With-It Blokes Between 35-50 Who Are Also Reasonably Geeky and Open To Poly" group. What say, CdM? You're only a couple years off the target; you could join, too!

Okay, putting on my serious dating advice hat: be prepared to crash and burn hard before things work out. If you're committed to a closed triad, commit now or forever hold your peace. This means if your prospective partner can't in all honesty say zie wants to be with you both (or ends up deciding zie likes one better than the other), then you've got to be firm. I would be horribly disappointed, for example, if a pair I was seeing decided to dump me just because I didn't have chemistry with one of them--so I'd rather know up front that a couple is a package deal.

Also, it's really very nice to know more about said couple than "We want YOU!" What are your hobbies? Do you have children? Do you want more? What are your extended families like? Do your friends know about poly? And so forth. You are people looking to date people, not roles looking to date roles.

Good luck!
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