My husband and I are talking about renting a house together with his girlfriend and my boyfriend in a couple of months. The four of us all socialize together on a regular basis and get along really well. Currently we're each in apartments and are doing this to not only be closer to each other, but to have more space for parties/events. My husband, his girlfriend and I are all blues dancers and want to be able to hold dance parties and practices in the space; all of us are involved in the kink scene and want space for play parties. We're going to try and get a large house (5-6 bedrooms) so there's plenty of space if we need to escape from each other. We're talking about everything we can think of that might come up. Even what temperate we want to set the thermostat at.
- We're not out about being poly/kinky to our families/coworkers/vanilla friends. And we don't want to be. Is it possible to have this kind of arrangement and keep things discreet?
- My boyfriend is getting out of his primary relationship just prior to moving in. It is a mutual split and being handled well by everyone. His primary girlfriend of 3 years is moving away for grad school and it looks like her secondary partner is going to move with her. I've only been with my boyfriend for 4 months. I'm not sure how our dynamic will change. Are we moving too fast?
- We'll all continue dating other people and it can be hard to see your partner being affectionate with others. What can we do to minimize the effects of jealousy/possessiveness when it's harder to "hide" your other partners?
- What if it turns out this won't work? How much time/effort needs to be put into contingency plans?
Any practical advice you can offer? Potential pitfalls we may not have thought of?