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Old 06-08-2012, 05:52 AM
kmored785 kmored785 is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 6

Hi Sixta,

I'm Kiran, a newbie polyamorous guy from San Diego. I'm looking to make some new friends in San Diego and share some experiences. Reply back if interested...
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Old 06-08-2012, 11:48 AM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,586

Hi Lucky. I have been in your shoes when I was new to exploring polyamory. God knows there are millions of married guys out there with lukewarm marriages in which they are not fully content. Lots of men have messaged me over the past 3 1/2 yrs, wanting a secret gf, unable to get their wives on board with full polyamory for whatever reason.

It seems there are so many women who lose interest in sex, yet are unable to give their horny husbands "permission" to seek it elsewhere. Nothing is left for these guys but lonely fantasy and masturbation, or cheating. Personally I have a really high sex drive (tho I am female! lol) and I know how deadening and depressing and self esteem killing it can be to survive without sex, with the intimacy and emotional closeness it brings.

I dabbled in a couple of affairs where I was more or less a secret from the wife. I found that I no longer had interest in doing that and waited for men who were truly free, either single or experienced in polyamory, whose wives were full of compersion for their other relationship(s). It is much much better for me, living this way, guilt free.

I am glad you came here to learn about being poly. What you are doing now is not poly, because that assumes that ALL parties know and support each others' relationships. I am glad you and your bf are happy, but like others here, I am concerned for the fallout.

Just something to think about...
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)
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