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Old 06-06-2012, 02:12 PM
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newtoday newtoday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
I get it. You and he likely have mutual friends on each others pages. Maybe even co workers who know about your initial relationship or marriage that won't react well to less conventional lifestyles. When she posts stuff with and about him - pics he is tagged to and comments on his page, those mutual friends and co workers tend to go hmmm WTF?
Then they contact you or him with questions you didn't intend to answer or expect to be bothered with when you're not the one dating her. Or worse just start avoiding you or treating you and he oddly. If you didn't expect it or want that kind of attention it can get sticky.

Make sure you and he are on the same tip regarding this. Adjust your privacy settings to hide it from certain people; you can make something invisible to individual people without making it so to all. Then have a sit down with her about it and see if it can be smoothed out.
Good points, but that's not what she said. This isn't a privacy issue, she feels disrespected.

Quote:
Originally Posted by papolycouple View Post
I am now feeling this is being done on purpose for my benefit. I have taken the high road and not rebut or make a fuss. But I feel disrespected by these actions? Please help?

She said that she felt the posts were made directly for her benefit. She's suspecting malicious intent of his gf in her postings.

She may be right. But she may be over-reacting and it's just hard to see her SO loving another in their world, not hers. I can see why that might bother some. But that's her issue, not the 'secondary's'.

The best advice that has given on here is to not react, block posts, remove as friend, etc. If it's not being done maliciously, then she saves face and refrains from looking paranoid, insecure, jealous, etc. If she is right and it is being done to upset her, then she's the bigger person in not reacting and having confidence in her bf and his commitment to her.

I GET it... my bf still has former gf's on his and they post things sometimes that make me insane. He doesn't understand the issue! I have to remind myself, it's not his fault, I just block those 'ladies' so that I don't have to deal with their crap anymore.

Damn that Facebook. Such drama sometimes.

Last edited by newtoday; 06-06-2012 at 02:28 PM.
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Tags
compersion, facebook, negotiating boundaries, posting, second partner

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