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Old 06-05-2012, 02:44 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Maybe if he had mentioned he has a friend he's really connecting with in mid February there would of been a chance to develop something? I don't know. Right now I am more concerned about what I will do and if I can accept.
My friend....

May I have the privilege of giving you a quiet, loving word of warning?

Many times over the last few years, when I've wondered and when Maca has wondered if there was anyway we could deal with the "newest" nightmare in our poly experience,

We've turned to words of wisdom-written by you and Mono.
The most distinctly clear message we've received, over and over, is not to make decisions in the heat of the moment, because emotions come and they go.

You're hurting-and that is totally ok!
But, you love him.
Every person makes mistakes, and I'm not saying it's not a big mistake to shut down and back away.
But, from the perspective of someone whose been on the sidelines making huge mistakes as frequently as most people change their panties,
this seems to me to be a mistake that was almost destined. Mono has expressed often his lack of experience and understanding of poly. So, it's not surprising that he would fail to make the "poly-expected" move when he suddenly found himself experiencing what he didn't believe he could.

THAT DOESN'T IN ANYWAY mean you don't have a right to be hurt. PLEASE don't misread my words.
But, maybe it does mean looking back at history and seeing, did you make serious errors of similarity when you were starting out? I know I have. I know Maca has. I think many of us has.

Only you two can decide the future for yourselves. BUT, don't make decisions in the midst of your heartbreak flooding over you sweetie. YOU deserve the time to work through your heartbreak before deciding what the consequences will be of the circumstances.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Right now I need a good sleep. I haven't slept and neither has he. Talking and laying there quietly awake all night. Over come with emotion.
Sleep is critical-and when your emotions are so high, it's hard to come by. I wonder if it's not time for a jog by the ocean? I haven't heard you mention doing that in awhile (obviously, you could have, I only keep up via fb, just thought, it might help).
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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breaking up, casual sex, coming out to family, communication, family, kids, mono/poly, moving in, poly-fi, vee

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