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  #11  
Old 11-30-2009, 04:12 AM
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^^ That makes more sense to me!! LOL

And why wouldn't a bisexual man be just as in demand for a couple seeking a triad??

Personally... I think it might be just a tad unbalanced for men to called themselves poly but only be open to women. Poly is about LOVE, right? Not just wanted sexual entanglement. Love doesn't walk up to you and say 'drop your draws so I can check your genitals' before it strikes.
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  #12  
Old 11-30-2009, 01:41 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
^^ That makes more sense to me!! LOL

And why wouldn't a bisexual man be just as in demand for a couple seeking a triad??

Personally... I think it might be just a tad unbalanced for men to called themselves poly but only be open to women. Poly is about LOVE, right? Not just wanted sexual entanglement. Love doesn't walk up to you and say 'drop your draws so I can check your genitals' before it strikes.
Why would it be unbalanced only for men? There are a number of women on this forum who are involved with two or more men and the men don't have sexual relationships with each other.

Poly and sexual orientation are not synonymous. Not all poly people have to be bisexual, and not all bisexual people have to be poly. Single people can be gay, straight, or bi. Single people can be mono or poly.

It isn't really about "let me check your genitals before I fall in love with you". It's more like, "I am not sexually attracted to you if we have the same/different genitals". We don't need to discuss "what about pre-op transexuals" "what if this, what about that" contingencies. Besides, one usually has a pretty good idea what the other's genitals are before you fall in love with someone. I don't walk around checking out people's genitals and then say to myself "ok now I guess I can fall in love with you". Although I am bi, that's not really the point. The point is that I don't fall in love with everyone I meet, and I can usually tell if someone is male or female without examining their genitals. I realize that most people are on a continuum, but some people are straight, some are gay, and you can be poly and still only have sex with people of one gender or the other.
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  #13  
Old 11-30-2009, 02:48 PM
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Erosa, thank you for the post! I've come to the realization that there are others like me... (Yeah, that was a half-hearted quote from "The Last Unicorn.")

I have at various times been open to the idea of dating an established, loving, healthy couple, and have come very close to it. The first time it was a couple that invited me over for drinks and to "see where things would go," but things never went anywhere. None of us had enough guts to get anything going so we just sat around, listened to great music, talked about life and love, and I still count them among my good friends. If things had gone sexual, I doubt much would have changed. They're very sweet, decent people.

Another time I was approached by a physics professor and his Pagan wife. They were poly and the husband wanted to date me, but the wife was incredibly supportive... She even offered to give me one of her vegan cookbooks! They lived very far away and I soon found myself dating my current and we decided to be exclusive, so I never did go out with the professor, but I still think that might have been a good situation.

I think it all depends upon perspective. If everyone involved is clear on their expectations, I think it might be an okay situation for the unicorn. There have been times when I've admired both members of a couple and I've wanted very much to be with both of them, so I think a triad could be a beautiful thing with the right people involved. I'd wager so say someone out there is making it work, although they might be in a very slight minority!

I've been on both sides of this, though... I've also been in monogamous relationships where I thought it might be nice to include another person, but haven't for fear of jealousy and other such reasons. Still, if my partner and I hit it off with someone that was able to love both of us, was attracted to both of us, and wouldn't try to break us up or play mind games, (there's the rub,) I don't rule out the possibility of forming a triad. It's not a thing I think I'd like to actively seek out (that hasn't worked at all in the past) but if it happens, it happens.

Last edited by fauxsisticated; 11-30-2009 at 02:51 PM.
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  #14  
Old 11-30-2009, 09:36 PM
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Thank you everyone! This has really helped me learn. I appriciate it.
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  #15  
Old 05-07-2013, 10:57 PM
pantrike pantrike is offline
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We are a couple that is looking for that elusive unicorn, but we do not have those limitations that some of you talk about. We want to get to know the woman and if all of us fit, then have her join our family for life. It is more about the relationship than the sex for us, sex is only a part of a relationship, does not make one. We are just looking for the one to complete us, and share everything life has to offer.
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  #16  
Old 05-07-2013, 11:09 PM
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Oh dear......
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  #17  
Old 05-08-2013, 04:51 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Oh dear......


Double dear with whipped cream and a cherry. Maraschino cherry, to be exact. Because those who assume... You know. Etc.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-08-2013 at 04:53 AM.
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  #18  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pantrike View Post
We are just looking for the one to complete us . . .
Must be really tough, walking around incomplete.

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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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  #19  
Old 05-09-2013, 03:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Oh dear......
lol... I love your response..
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  #20  
Old 05-09-2013, 10:09 AM
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You say you're different, but your word choice says otherwise. Please read this: So somebody called you a Unicorn Hunter?
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