Just a thought........It sounds like your husband has some attributes of sexual "addiction"...where he HAS to have a FIX regardless of the consequences for anyone else.
(From: http://allpsych.com/journal/sexaddiction.htm) Sexual addicts are those who engage in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self and to others. They become addicted to the neuro-chemical changes that take place in the body during sexual behavior
You might want to do some internet research to see if the attributes listed for sexual addiction seem relevant to your husband. You might also find it helpful to do a search on "ADHD and sexual addiction". There seems to be quite a high correlation.