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Old 05-30-2012, 11:09 PM
IrisAwakened's Avatar
IrisAwakened IrisAwakened is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 69
Default Married so long, just friends?

Let me just start by saying how much I have appreciated this site throughout my poly journey! You guys have always been there for me, and whenever I have an issue I can look it up and feel better. I only ever write when I feel the need to have support for my issue. Right now I am feel confused and alone, so here we go!

Where to start... hm. Last year I brought poly up to my husband, who, in time accepted it and now seems to embrace it (although he has yet to find a partner of his own, he is very open to having one). I have felt so much happier in being loved by more than one person, I can't even explain the fulfillment I have discovered in this. My issue is that I worry about my marriage now. I love my husband, but that love has turned into more of a familial love. I care for him and we support each other. But our sex life is pretty non-existent and we are each pretty busy with our own things that we don't spend much time together anymore. More like roommates who are raising kids together, who love each other as best friends. I can go to him with anything, he is always there for me, and me for him.

Last week I noticed how tough this might be on him. I felt that he deserved someone better, someone monogamous, someone who actually wants to have sex with him (I really don't want that anymore). When I mentioned that I thought that I didn't deserve him, he denied. But when I asked "So you are fine with not having sex with me anymore? So you don't mind that we hardly see each other? So, would it be alright if we continued our marriage like this, more of best friends than lovers?" He wasn't for that at all! I don't even think he noticed the problem until I outlined it.

I guess what I am hoping for is some insight into others' marriages and how they changed in time. We have been married for 7 years. Is this normal to feel more like friends, for the passion to be gone? Or is there something very wrong in our relationship? Would we be better off as friends at this point?

Thank you for your support, you guys rock!
Have courage to continue this journey, for it holds nothing but lessons and wonders.
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