Newbie taking some first steps.
Hello everyone. I'm currently in a monogamous marriage that has hit a very rough patch in the past two years. In the past week I've gone from ready to hit the road to believing that it can all work out somehow. I've discovered that I do not want to leave my marriage and that I love my husband (G). However, I recently met a young man who I've become very close with. I don't want to leave my husband for him yet yearn for more intimacy with this other and feel that it will only add to my marriage. I was sneaking around behind G's back, not doing anything physical other than holding hands and hugging, and he found out. G survived this knowledge and last night we had a very intense conversation about where we were going. I said to him that J did not pose a threat to our marriage, that I wasn't leaving, but that I needed to continue to see him. G sat with that, sat with the feelings of jealousy and feelings of abandonment and found some peace with it. I believe that he and I can take steps into polyamory and have it expand our marriage in ways we never imagined possible. While he may not be interested in finding others I think he can understand why I need this in my life.
We also have two young children, so that adds another layer of complication. Any advice from those of you in similar situations is greatly appreciated.