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Old 05-24-2012, 08:38 PM
entrprnr entrprnr is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Mountains
Posts: 2
Default So ... How Would You Approach This?

Hello from the Denver area. Have lurked for a long time without anything much to say, though I would like some input about my situation. Wasn't sure if I should put this in introductions or relationship forums...

I'm a happily married man, I married a wonderful, stunning, smart woman who has no jealousy issues and we are terrifically compatible. I won the wife lottery.

With that said, I have an overwhelming urge to share our love with a third or even a quad, I'm open to a man or a woman, but incredibly selective about the man (plus she's not really interested in anything but flirting with other men anyway).

We've had several discussions about swinging and poly lifestyles, and she has tried and once in a while plays but she's generally just not very interested. She gives me the freedom to go play and date whoever I like. I guess you could say we're a poly/mono relationship.

Now, here's the rub. I respect my wife, and I want to honor her at every turn. I rarely act on spending time with other women simply because I feel a sense of guilt. This is unwelcome, as she is typically very happy for me when I go out and play, happy that I get it out of my system and didn't have to involve her, happy with the added libido for days afterwards etc.

So, my strategy has been to try to involve her in some capacity, going to clubs/meetups together to get exposed/educated - just to get some assurance that we're on the same page. She has no interest in learning about the swinging or poly lifestyles, and just tells me to go have fun without her.

How would you indulge your urges guilt-free in my situation? Does it sound like I have a hang-up here? Should I not be participating in any lifestyle activities when I have her support, but not her cerebral engagement and understanding of the ideas and philosophies of swinging and/or poly?

I suppose the fact that she doesn't participate unsettles me, like I'm having all of this fun and she's just at home being the good wife...

I look forward to your thoughts... thanks
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married dating, new to polyamory

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