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Old 05-23-2012, 05:03 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,683
Default breaking up properly

There seems to be a lot of people breaking up around me. I was dumped this last winter also. At the time it was unclear why, but now I understand that he was more interested in his new business, had nothing to talk to me about, found me boring at times and didn't like some of the ways I asked for me needs to be met (that I asked for my needs to be met was some sort of irritation it seemed).

A friend of mine just dumped his long term girlfriend because he didn't love her, she was controlling and manipulative and he found that the only way to get his needs met was to lie to her about what he was doing in his life. He wanted to take an honest path and that was the only way he knew how.

Yet another friend dumped his "girlfriend" yesterday. He decided to tell her it was to give her and her husband some well needed time together when really he said it was because they have different ideas about what relationships are about, different values within them. He didn't tell her that and so she is bargaining with him about what's okay in their relationship. Really he thought of it more like a friends with benefits thing and not a romantic situation.

I was wondering how you would like to be broken up with? What would you look for in a good break up? What does a break up say about a person? Usually people don't know about their partner's break ups, but in the poly community its more obvious, how does that make a difference when thinking of dating someone?
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