Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 05-21-2012, 10:52 PM
Chaos Chaos is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 7
Default Husband has certain expectations

I seriously wonder if my husband, JQ, has a sex addiction or a hormone imbalance (and no, he refuses to go to doc about it). And I'm wondering how this might be an issue down the road. I got together with a friend of ours, JS a month or so ago. The three of us had sex together (not JS and JQ, although JS is bi, JQ is not). We've done this a couple times. For JQ it's some fetish of watching me with another guy.

This weekend we had a party, JS came and stayed after everybody left, along with one of his friends. We had been drinking quite a bit, JS and I went to the bedroom to watch TV and kind of melted into the bed, got super comfy and cuddly (JQ and JS' friend stayed up drinking and talking). This was awesome. I never get that cuddly with JQ. I didn't have hands grabbing at me for once. Eventually JQ came into the bedroom and wanted to get it on. It's super late and I was sore and tired and just wanted to pass out, we were already just about there. I told JQ multiple times and he just kept grabbing at me. I'd grab his hand and try to glue it to me and as soon as I let go he'd try again. Eventually he slept a little, and let JS and I just sleep it off.

The next day he couldn't believe we didn't have sex or even remove clothing. He doesn't get that there is this space between not touching and sex. I've tried to talk to him about this many times. We have sex just about every night because 1. it feels good and I can sleep and 2. if I didn't I would have to fight with JQ for like an hour as I'm trying to sleep. He seriously will not back off. I've tried to talk to him about every other day, but he doesn't seem to care about what I want. No matter how much I tell him.

I don't like to be pawed over all the time (and yes, I constantly tell JQ such). I have sore spots and need the rest. Being able to just be all warm and cozy was so nice. It made me realize how much I miss it and how JQ doesn't do that.

JS hasn't had a partner in over a year, and really wanted the physical affection. JQ doesn't seem to get that either.

So between my theories of high testosterone, possible ADD/OCD and/or Aspergers, I'm trying to get what I need to say drilled into his head without getting mean about it. Just this morning he got into it with me because he was talking about an instance from 25 years ago that he's told me a billion times and I didn't want to hear it again.

And I don't think JQ is jealous at all (I've been really trying to watch for that, and talk to him about as much as I am feeling). Just puzzled. My cat on the other hand, totally jealous. She gets jealous of my husband too. She climbed up on the bed, got between us and wouldn't move without claws involved.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:39 PM.