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Old 05-19-2012, 05:52 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I guess this is one of those gray areas, as far as communication is concerned. If you feel like you need to say something for your own peace of mind, I guess that's one thing, although even then wait a few hours or something. Let her have her moment.

She may just be "venting" to you, which would mean advice and reminders isn't something she'd need at that time. Perhaps the thing to say would be to simply acknowledge what she's saying, and let her know you're there for her, for whatever she may need, be it thoughts, advice, or just a listening/sympathetic ear.

This is especially true if she already knows how you feel about the situation. If she doesn't, and your feelings are pretty strong, it might be good to tell her but at the "right time and place."

If she never actually spends any more time with Bent, then he's technically not affecting your relationship with her any longer. However, if it seems to you like she is obsessing over Bent, and that it is negatively affecting your relationship with her, then you have a legitimate concern to bring up at some point.

Since you are just emerging from your period of estrangement, things might be a little sensitive in certain emotional areas, so it's a good idea to approach things slowly and cautiously. To quote Stephen Covey, seek first to understand (and then to be understood). Sometimes just repeating back to her what she said in your own words, will give her that feeling that you're listening and that you're there with her. That may be all she needs.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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