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  #1311  
Old 05-06-2012, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm glad that PN has his friend to talk to still. I hope he gets some questions answered for himself about whether or not its a good idea to continue on their friendship.
I'm just starting to grasp how interconnected you all are. Don't you ever just get the urge to date someone from, say, Madagaskar? To avoid all this weird community criss-crossing of relationships and baggage?
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  #1312  
Old 05-06-2012, 09:06 PM
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I'm just starting to grasp how interconnected you all are. Don't you ever just get the urge to date someone from, say, Madagaskar? To avoid all this weird community criss-crossing of relationships and baggage?
Why do you think it's weird? Nothing wrong with dating within a community. I used to belong to a large group of friends who were connected by these workshops we all used to take and retreats we went on. It was a big part of my life for six years, so we all got to know each other very well. And we all dated each other.

We used to call it recycling! There was one guy who dated at least ten women in the group, and we were all friends with each other. I dated quite a few guys from that group, and each of them dated quite a few women from the group. Then, a few years later, we'd be invited to a wedding. Little did the families know how well we all know the bride and groom! And this was a group of all straight monogamous people, so I would think it would work out even better with a poly community.
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  #1313  
Old 05-06-2012, 09:13 PM
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I'm just thinking about what to do if there are explosive break-ups. Or if an STD spreads super-quickly in the community (I guess it would actually be easier to trace and contain). And how to protect everyone's privacy. Some people I know seem to get some weird satisfaction from knowing (both in the biblical and non-biblical sense) as many people as possible in the alt community. Like they are almost playing a sport-fucking game where they try to tag as many people as possible.

Don't get me wrong; I enjoy good gossip when gossip's due, but it just seems weirdly controlling to me for some to aim to know everything about everyone they are dating, used to date, could potentially date and all the dates of all the people already mentioned.

Maybe I'm naturally averse to small communities because I live in such small circles myself.
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  #1314  
Old 05-06-2012, 10:02 PM
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I'm just thinking about what to do if there are explosive break-ups.
You have lots of people to support you and get you through. I had a break up that upset me and yet still hung out with him and his new gf in our group. It was a great experience that helped me grow. We all talked openly about what was going on with everyone.
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Or if an STD spreads super-quickly in the community...
Well, in the group I belonged to, this did not come up. If anyone had anything, it was dealt with privately.
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And how to protect everyone's privacy. Some people I know seem to get some weird satisfaction from knowing (both in the biblical and non-biblical sense) as many people as possible in the alt community... I enjoy good gossip when gossip's due, but it just seems weirdly controlling to me for some to aim to know everything about everyone they are dating, used to date, could potentially date and all the dates of all the people already mentioned.
Well, for me, I don't tend to hang out with people who are that immature and calculating. That's the thing about only aligning oneself with the "alt" community. Is that really enough of a connection? Alternative interests attract lots of people who may or may not be emotionally/psychologically/spiritually healthy. The small communities I've been a part of were connected by a dedication to personal growth, and I wouldn't have been a part of those groups if I didn't already like the people who were in them first. We didn't really get into gossip, but that is a personal pet peeve of mine. If gossip was going on, I refused to participate. If anyone acted like an ass, they were taken to task by members (and leaders) of the group, either privately or within our gatherings, if appropriate. People who were inappropriate too many times were asked to leave the group.

Sorry for the hijack, RP!
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-06-2012 at 10:04 PM.
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  #1315  
Old 05-07-2012, 02:55 PM
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No worries I'm not sure where you got the idea how close the community is from that quote though. Where'd that quote come from? It seems like a long time ago that PN had a girl friend to talk to.

On Friday PN came back happy with his night out and content with his re-connection with Leo's wife. We didn't talk much of it other than what's going on with my exes life and where they are at with our break up. Nothing transpired after our break up that I hadn't thought would happen. Everything I thought of in terms of what happened for him and her seemed to of been what happened.

It seems the bulk of this issues at the time were around my writing here and his desire to end our relationship. Paranoia about everyone finding out details about his life. My stories a dime a dozen I'm sure. I tell people that all the time when they send PM's wanting me to delete their threads. Any one who reads the forums long enough would know that. What I write about is my opinion and there are no traceable names attached. Not to mention, none of my friends hung out with them. At least the ones that would read here. Why this blog warranted ending a three year relationship I don't know. It seems I just wasn't worth enough to work through it and he only wanted me as a friend so I was dispensible.

As to everything that was said to me in anger and everything that I was told she said? Well, apparently it was all in haste and in the moment. Somehow I am suppose to feel better that she told my husband that she doesn't hate me. That was kind of the gist I got through his second hand information and late night attempt to pass on what was said. Really, I'm not much better off knowing all that than I was before. It just seems like an attempted to put a bandaid on my feelings when I have been in a car crash.

The rest of the weekend was filled with burlesque, lots of touches, sex, good talks with people who I love and who love me and lots of texting with the guy I am going on a date with on Thursday. Life is good. I have everything I need
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  #1316  
Old 05-08-2012, 06:00 PM
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We celebrated my new friends birthday yesterday (what was it suggested I call him? I forget). He was thrilled to bits to have hosted a party for himself. First time ever and he turned 54. The church he was in didn't allow birthdays. We sang happy birthday and I brought him cake. First time for that too.

It was very special to me that I was part of it. All of us were there; Derby, PN, LB and Mono. I think the other guests, who were meeting us for the first time, were a bit surprised that Derby and I are so close when we are together. I don't know if they knew about her and I. They did about the guys, but I don't show them much affection when we are all together. We kind of default to Derby and I cuddling or I cuddle up to my son.

My friend was very attentive and sweet. It was very evident that he was pleased everyone was meeting us and especially me. I spent some time manoeuvring away from his closeness so as to be sure that the others were okay. It was sweet, but I was a little overwhelmed.

It was a good night and in some way very pivotal for him and his life journey and for me in regards to him and that journey.
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  #1317  
Old 05-08-2012, 06:05 PM
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  #1318  
Old 05-09-2012, 08:43 PM
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I am so excited that my forum friend, LovingRadiance is coming to visit this weekend. Summers coming and I have made some really fun plans. I'm hoping that people will come to them I'm trying to get Catfish to come and visit and freetime... Maybe marksbabygirl? I've met many forum members over the years. Its been great to connect. I'm sure I have met more than I realize at various local events in Washington State and around here.
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Last edited by redpepper; 05-09-2012 at 09:02 PM.
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  #1319  
Old 05-10-2012, 07:01 AM
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I have been happy to read about the good developments you've been having.
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  #1320  
Old 05-11-2012, 06:01 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I am so excited that my forum friend, LovingRadiance is coming to visit this weekend. Summers coming and I have made some really fun plans. I'm hoping that people will come to them I'm trying to get Catfish to come and visit and freetime... Maybe marksbabygirl? I've met many forum members over the years. Its been great to connect. I'm sure I have met more than I realize at various local events in Washington State and around here.
I'm hoping to make it over there... depends on what life throws me in the next 4 weeks.

I am looking forward to meeting you... at some point its a year or more overdue
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