River's Blog

[River]

Something unexpected happened. Faraway Sweetie and I have decided to be friends without the romantic part -- platonic friends. This we did, because I let it be known that I'm really not able to be happily in love with someone who lives twelve hundred miles away, whom I'd realistically only see for briefish occasional visits, perhaps two or three times a year. With phone calls and emails.

There are other details of our transition, but this is the key one. You see, initially, we had reason to believe we could spend much more time together, even sharing a geographical proximity. This no longer seems to be forthcoming, or even possible -- for year after year.

One of her greatest fears in the world is hurting people, and especially those she loves.
I want her to understand that I do not believe she has hurt me. Nor have I hurt me. We are each innocent and beautiful and extraordinary in our love for one another. And while it is not that she hurt me, this situation does hurt. A lot. I miss what I thought we were likely to be together. A lot.

I love you so much, Faraway Sweetie. Please don't think that you caused this pain. You have not. But I promised to be honest with you as much as humanly possible, and I can't pretend that I do not hurt about the transition our love is taking.

I'll call ... soon.

I love you!

[SNeacail]

Hugs!

[opalescent]

I'm sorry River. I know how impossible long distance relationships can be.

[bella123456]

One of the things polyamory involves (well, for me)...is accepting and cherishing love in your life, with the form of the love being secondary to the love itself.

You share beautiful love with faraway sweetie...and yes, love sometimes hurts.

My thoughts are with you

[River]

Thanks, y'all!

[River]

Hello, y'all!

("Y'all" is actually Texan lingo, and I'm in New Mexico, but I can say it anyway!--even though I've only passed thorugh Texas a couple of times)

I guess my vacation from here is over for the time being. So I wanted to say "hi" and give yaal a nice big hug. >hug<

[nycindie]

Welcome back, River! I have thought of you many times and wondered how you are doing. Good to see your username pop up in "New Posts" and looking forward to reading more of your perspectives on things again. That is, if you feel like sharing your wisdom...

[River]

Hi, NYCindie! >slightly loud cheek smooch<

Wise? Ha! I'm a wise ass. You know that.

My only kernal of wisdom is ... "Don't be too afraid to be a little bit nuts."

"Nuts" here is interchangable with: weird, odd, different, freaky, risk-taking, risk avoiding, ... or normal, conventional, standard issue.

No, scratch all of that. Replace all of those with "yourself".

That's it. And even I can't do that! So I'm a wise ass instead.

[River]

Update / What I'm thinking and dreaming about...

First, there's the expert on Arctic sea ice, who says the Arctic sea ice will be all melted in summer within FOUR years. Reading this news was -- emotionally -- sort of like getting struck by a Mac truck. I'm still pondering the implications and letting it settle into consciousness. It's just too much.

I think we should all abandon the fossil fuel world as soon as possible, and that means a radical transformation of our way of life.

I think we can have a good quality of life with a vastly smaller dependency and use of fossil fuels, but doing so requires a serious reconsideration of all kinds of basic things. It also requires cooperation, collaboration, organizing.... But I will not put a lot of stock in "the political process". The necessary changes won't be primarily political / governmental in nature. The lead needs to arise from within a small -- but growing! -- minority.

This is a global emergency, folks.

===

Dreams ...

I've been dreaming about the touch of women. Erotic touch. It has been SO long! Way too long.

[River]

... funny, the "Today's Birthdays" thingy doesn't include my name on my side. Does it include me on your end? 'Cause if it doesn't, it's malfunctioning.