Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-03-2012, 04:27 PM
chocolatebarbie chocolatebarbie is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 6
Default confussed

can someone explain to me the term unicorn and any other names that im not familiar with
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-03-2012, 06:12 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,532
Default

There is an entire thread dedicated to definitions: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1720
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-04-2012, 02:51 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,388
Default

LOL, yes, there is a lot of terms you can learn, as you'll no doubt soon see.

Re: unicorn ... of course the original (pre-poly) meaning was a mythical/magical horse with a single horn on its forehead. In the poly community, you'll sometimes hear the word used in a humorous, ironic, or sarcastic way.

The idea is, suppose there is a couple (e.g. a husband and wife) who are looking for a single woman to date/form a household/family with. This type of situation happens fairly often, in fact most poly veterans will nod that they're familiar with the words, "We're a loving couple who is looking for a third to 'complete' us." This "third," this woman that this couple is seeking to add to their lives, is sometimes called a "unicorn," because in some people's minds, that couple is looking for "a mythical person, a person who doesn't exist."

It's just tricky if the couple has the expectation in mind that this "unicorn" person will be "hot," single, and dedicated solely to the couple. It's even worse if they find their unicorn, and then make that new woman take second place to their "original-couple" relationship and desires.

On the other hand, not all "unicorn seekers" are so inflexible or insensitive, and in truth, "unicorns" do exist (though people disagree about how common/rare they are). So using words like "unicorn," "unicorn seekers," and "unicorn hunters," can be derogatory, discriminatory, and sometimes even hurtful to the people the "unicorn" words are referring to. That's why I, personally, have tried to get out of the habit of using the word "unicorn" (though I admit that bad "couple-seeking-a-third" situations do exist, and are a problem).

Whether you use the word or not, it's probably useful to know what it means, and a little about its connotations, so you won't be lost if you hear someone else say the word in a conversation. So, this post has hopefully armed you with that information.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here, and would like to welcome you to our forum, Chocolate Barbie. I hope you'll find a bit of home in this far-flung internet place.

With sincere regards,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-04-2012, 07:41 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,108
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolatebarbie View Post
can someone explain to me the term unicorn and any other names that im not familiar with
Umm... how would we know what terms you're not familiar with?

Sneacail posted a link to our glossary. If you have any questions after reading through that, you can search the forums for threads on unicorns and those mysterious other topics. Then, if you have any further questions, please ask.

Welcome!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:17 AM.