I'm reminded of a cute little story about a newlywed couple. The man tells his new bride, "I expect dinner on the table at 6pm every night, whether I'm home or not, " and she says, "I expect sex in our bedroom at 10pm every night, whether you're home or not."
At this point I would be awfully tempted just to say, "Listen, if you're not going to give me what I need, someone else can!" (I don't think this is necessarily a wise course of action -certainly counseling is a better first step -but really, you deserve to get what you need!)
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs