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Old 05-02-2012, 05:09 PM
sunnicat sunnicat is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3
Default Beginnings and rules

My husband and I are in an open relationship/poly. He got into a relationship a few years back with a wonderful lady. It became intimate and this is where it became a new thing for me. I had all the feelings of inadequacy, etc but as time went on we became good friends. Now they are separated by distance so the relationship is reduced to phone calls.
Now he has embarked on a new relationship with a woman a few miles from us. A few years have happened between his last relationship and now this so It is coming back at me again with a sense of newness. He has known her for three weeks and slept with her twice--meaning not coming home.
I have told her that we are married with three children and I am not going anywhere.
He has been seeing her like every 3-4 days or so and he has been taking her out on dates, but he never asks me out, I just want to know if I have the right to establish ground rules. I just want this to be fair for everybody.
Do I just need to mind my own business and not worry about anything once he walks out that door and just focus on my life and relationship with him when he is home with me. Sometimes Its like he is home with me but not really, like his mind is elsewhere like wanting to be with her. He talks about her all the time and is not asking me if its okay for him to go out with her he just tells me oh by the way I have plans thursday nite with her.....Its seems like there is no consideration for my feelings......
I was much happier when I had my own relationship going on.
any advice for second time around after so many years of not having to deal with this....
plus she keeps talking about how lonely she is in her little apartment, its almost like she is hinting she wants to be somewhere else. I have young kids and I am not comfortable with having her in my home yet........
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