Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #5  
Old 05-01-2012, 06:29 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,230
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by insanity View Post
I had a weird talk yesterday with my boyfriend... he was saying something about compromising about feelings. I don't feel good about that.. I don't want to/can't/not willing to/etc.. to do something to get rid of my feelings to that girl that I fell in love with. I honestly think it is too much to ask.
It makes me feel like a horrible, horrible monster.
There are other things I compromise on, but it seems like he doesn't seem to care..
I don't think it's actually possible to compromise on how much you feel for someone. Like, how would that look, "Ok, I love her but you want me only to like her, so I'll compromise by liking her a whole lot but not loving her." Feelings don't work that way, you can't turn them up and down like a dial, you can only control your actions. If you've already fallen for her but he wants you not to love her, the closest you could come to compromising on that would be to not see her anymore period... but even then, maybe even especially when a connection is cut off abruptly, feelings can linger for years...
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 05-01-2012 at 08:44 PM. Reason: Damn you autocorrect
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
boundaries, boundary agreements, boundary negotiation, compromises, compromising, negotiating boundaries

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:56 PM.