Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 05-01-2012, 12:14 PM
drtalon's Avatar
drtalon drtalon is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 112
Default

Quote:
the only way I can see this working for me is if we had someone we were dating together, so I didn't feel completely left out/left behind/unwanted/thrown aside/ignored.
Do you personally know any people in successful poly relationships? Maybe you would benefit from seeing some examples of it working. And talking face-to-face about your fears might be more productive.

Have you looked for poly meetups in your area?
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 05-01-2012, 04:36 PM
mostlyclueless mostlyclueless is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 70
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by drtalon View Post
Do you personally know any people in successful poly relationships? Maybe you would benefit from seeing some examples of it working. And talking face-to-face about your fears might be more productive.

Have you looked for poly meetups in your area?
Kind of, but the poly family we know is...pretty far out there. (1 dude + 3 co-primaries, including a 19 year old who moved in with them immediately after their first date and is referred to as a spouse after 3 months of dating.)

We actually have a double date with a poly couple from OkCupid coming up; I don't know if it will end up being a friend thing or what.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 05-02-2012, 02:55 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

Poly and your relationship are entwined. I don't think they are separate at all, just that you seem to be consumed with your relationship being mono one way or poly the other. Really, in the end, there is no difference other than the people being in your life "getting" the whole poly thing and being involved with others themselves.

It sounds like poly means dating and potential partners to the two of you. I would suggest going and finding like minded friends. Build community around you and see how it goes with your new friends. Find a poly group to hang out with. If there isn't one, create it. Ask people for coffee and make it a friend thing rather than making your meet ups a date thing.

To me, after 17 years, poly is a way of life built up over time and positive interactions with others. So many people around me are friends rather than lovers. Its made me feel grounded in something more than a slew of other relationships other than the husband I married.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
breaks, insecurity, jealousy

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:47 AM.