We head up into the mountains on Friday morning, ready for some business and some adventure. I had gotten a call about a business identical to mine that had closed and was liquidating inventory and fixtures; a great opportunity. We checked into our hotel, then headed to the woman's house where we spent the next six hours combing through her garage and picking out the very best and most marketable of what she had. It was a total score, and my compact SUV was sagging under the weight of my bootie as we headed back to relax. A hot bath, cold drink and some time on the couch later we headed downstairs for dinner and deep conversations. Afterall, we were meeting the XGF the next night, and I wanted us to be sure that we were on the same page. No more surprises.
Our talks were good. E.'s willingness to accept responsibility for his own challenges put my heart at ease. As we worked our way through a lovely salad, some appies and a couple of beers it was obvious that we were both in a solid place in our relationship, and in our approach to seeing her.
Up to bed, we slept late and spent the morning cuddling, drinking coffee and talking about designing our newly acquired cabin like a hotel room instead of a small house. Luxurious open floor plan with a small kitchen, but all about relaxation, beautiful lines and uncomplicated decor. It was exciting to figure out what we wanted to do; to date we've been looking at all kinds of small apartments, but tossing that idea away and going with a great looking hotel suite as inspiration will make everything more affordable and beautiful in one fell swoop. Amazing.
We drive back down the mountain, the awe inspiring beauty of cliffsides, trees and the ocean leaving us nearly speechless. The phone rings and the incar calling system picks it up; it's a good friend from a nearby island that we can see across the water. We tease about coming across to visit her, and she sounds almost desperate when she says yes. She's been on a journey quest involving ayahuasca and is feeling simultaneously alone and filled up. Just exited from an abusive relationship, she has been working on becoming her own best friend. This has not made her sex drive go away, and she lamented about the ten month dry spell that she was on. She talked about wanting a lover, uncomplicated, E. said "That's it, we're coming over!" She was far from adverse about the idea. The conversation went 'round to her curiousity about women, and by the time that we had made tentative plans for an upcoming weekend and gotten off the phone, both E & I's eyebrows were hitting our hairline. She is utterly gorgeous, in her '40's and has this very accessible, vulnerable beauty about her. Lovely smile, hikes and stays fit, creative and generous of spirit and love. I just want to be sure that it's what she wants; we both find her completely attractive, and obviously she feels attracted to us. It's just important that she is not acting out of vulnerability and loneliness, as I have no desire to confuse anyone for the sake of hot sex. We're her friends first and foremost, but yoinks. Unexpected.
Into the city we go, meeting one of my girlfriends for brunch to celebrate her birthday. E heads off to have a blissful solitary man day, and her and I go shopping for clothes. By the time she drops me off to meet up with E. I have already had a pretty much perfect day.
E. and I drive towards our dinner destination. A little Italian restaurant very close to.... let's call her Sync..... Sync's place. Given the upset of our last meeting, I wanted our meeting spot to be nearby so that if she needed to leave, she didn't have to go far to be home again. As we rounded the corner and found parking my stomach filled up with marbles and birds; so nervous all of a sudden. We made our way in and were seated, the hostess bringing her over from the bar. She was all smiles and awkward beauty - don't think she's ever gotten used to her long lean limbs or exquisite face. We embraced, sat, ordered and tucked into some pretty delicious food and negronis.
As we ate and caught up, the overriding feeling was one of happiness. All of us were smiling, laughing and having a really good time. Here we were, just a couple months down the road and it was like.... well, it was like the whole clusterfuck of badness had never even happened. Dinner finished, we decided to go for drinks around the corner. We paid our bill and walked together, haste of the city passing us by as we created our own little world again. It took everything I had not to hold her hand.
Into the bistro, so noisy, huge concrete building with the sound bouncing off all of the hipsters and clever lighting. We found a seat, benches with a thick wooden slab between us and perched opposite each other - E and I together on one side, her on the other. Candlelight and dim overhead fixtures, they ordered scotches, and I ordered a silly girly drink with toasted coconut. We drank, talked, and when she went to the bathroom E. expressed a desire to turn the conversation to us. We'd sent an email earlier in the week expressing our desires. The first was that at the very least, that we end things on a peaceful note with happiness in our heart instead of the upset and drama of our previous "last meeting". The second was our hope that we would be friends, and stay in touch. The last was that if she was game that we would be very interested in trying to recreate less complicated times in our relationship, moving forward with better personal and group boundaries. The very fact that she had read it and agreed to meet with us had given me some hope, but I remained steadfast in not having expectations of her or the evening in general.
She returned, and E. began to ask her what she though of her email. I was tense, almost not wanting to talk about it all. Didn't want to paw at the pretty of the evening - that peace and flow that we had established might be hanging in the balance, and I didn't want to go to the bad place again. She rolled with it though, and expressed her surprise, and curiousity around some things. She asked me if I was emotionally poly. Yes! Absolutely! Never had a problem with love/feelings, but that behaviours/choices had really ruined my ability to continue having compersion (of which I had in spades back in the autumn/early winter). She shared some of the things that she had learned during the process, and how she didn't really know what she wanted.
I didn't need for it to go anywhere. Neither did E. We talked, but there was no pressure. We all took accountability for things, but there wasn't the same tension as our previous meeting. E. went and found some fancy cigarellos for them to smoke, and we paid and left. I snatched a candle from the bar for them, bringing it back to place in front of a disapproving bartender once they were happily puffing away. We sat on a bench together as they smoked, her plans to return to her hometown in just a few short days making my chest feel a little tight (it's 15 hours away, she'll be gone until September.) I chided myself silently.... just friends.... that would be enough, remember?
We walked her to her door, us folding into a long, intimate group hug. She didn't turn around as she climbed the stairs to her apartment, and we drove away holding hands smiling. It felt so good to have peace in our hearts about her. To know that we could see her and be happy. The car began eating up the miles as we hit the freeway, racing along in the dark towards home.
A txt comes in from her about how attractive and tempting we are. I tease her by sending her the name of our favourite hotel followed by a question mark. Then I send a txt that says "Kidding." Then I send another text that says "Mostly." The txts start flying back and forth, and a few minutes later we have turned around. "We're on our way back to the city.... pack your toothbrush, pretty." "Toothbrush packed." I make reservations at said favourite hotel, all gleaming marble and slick interior decorating. E. drops me off in front of her place and drives to check into the hotel (the car is completely packed with our recent acquisitions). She comes down dressed like a lumberjack, hands as soft as silk in mine. I stand in front of her, owning her personal space for the first time in months, and her breath comes quick. I dial numbers on the sides of passing taxis, and soon we are nestled inside of one that has an engine that sounds like a malfunctioning lawnmower.
We pull up and head to the front counter; I know the woman from a previous visit, and she recognizes us as well. Up the quiet elevator we go, into the hotel suite to stow away our things and nestle into opulent chairs in our suite. Ipod plugged in, scotch poured, we talk some more.
She shows us her new scars. She likes bloodplay, and has found someone in her school who is a cutting and smacking dom. I have a physical reaction - one of upset that someone has done such a shitty job of marking her, and one of anger that some douchebag who doesn't deserve her has touched her. Unexpected feelings - not something I'm used to - must only happen with women, I guess? So protective. He used surgical steel, but then put his dirty mouth all over the slices, and they must have become infected. She'll wear those for the rest of her life, and they're not particularly tidy or nice. I won't cut her though - have too much reverence for her beauty - and we have been broken up for months. So unjustified in my silly emotions, I let them go. We talk more, I go have a bath so that E. and her can talk, then he follows and has a bath of his own. More later.
Last edited by BaggagePatrol; 04-24-2012 at 02:28 AM. Reason: Dinner's Ready.
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