Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #1  
Old 04-16-2012, 05:40 PM
Nighthorse Nighthorse is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, California, USA, Earth
Posts: 13
Unhappy Fluid Bonding Confusion

So, recently, my partner and I, whom I will call S, became fluid-bonded. Yay.

But S had a different perception than I did regarding what constituted fluid-exchange and had oral sex with someone, without a barrier, outside a night club.

S had met this person before, once, but has never had any kind of risk-factor conversation. S was surprised that I considered oral sex without a barrier unprotected sex.

I was, frankly, shocked and appalled that someone would have any kind of sex with another person, especially unprotected sex, without having a conversation about health and safety first. It's as if S had never heard that unprotected oral sex was a risk for syphilis, gonorrhea, HSV, et cetera. S said, cynically, that no one would be honest about that if oral sex was on the way. I completely disagree. And, hey, that is what flavored latex barriers, like dental dams and condoms, are for.

A close friend of mine, M, contracted HSV II orally with this same behavior. M was completely devastated, psychologically, by the news and now feels unlovable. While I would never dump someone for contracting an STD, I feel that people who engage in risky behavior without even having the risk-factor conversation are too irresponsible to be allowed to date me.

Let me clarify that I am not mad about the oral sex. I am happy for S. But I am mad about the apparent lack of concern for health and what that might mean for my own health.
__________________
"Wish for others what you wish for yourself" ~ A man with many wives. Oddly enough, his wives did not have multiple husbands.
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
fluid bond, fluid bonding, oral sex, safe sex, safer sex, sex, std, sti

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:19 AM.