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Old 04-16-2012, 05:40 PM
Nighthorse Nighthorse is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, California, USA, Earth
Posts: 13
Unhappy Fluid Bonding Confusion

So, recently, my partner and I, whom I will call S, became fluid-bonded. Yay.

But S had a different perception than I did regarding what constituted fluid-exchange and had oral sex with someone, without a barrier, outside a night club.

S had met this person before, once, but has never had any kind of risk-factor conversation. S was surprised that I considered oral sex without a barrier unprotected sex.

I was, frankly, shocked and appalled that someone would have any kind of sex with another person, especially unprotected sex, without having a conversation about health and safety first. It's as if S had never heard that unprotected oral sex was a risk for syphilis, gonorrhea, HSV, et cetera. S said, cynically, that no one would be honest about that if oral sex was on the way. I completely disagree. And, hey, that is what flavored latex barriers, like dental dams and condoms, are for.

A close friend of mine, M, contracted HSV II orally with this same behavior. M was completely devastated, psychologically, by the news and now feels unlovable. While I would never dump someone for contracting an STD, I feel that people who engage in risky behavior without even having the risk-factor conversation are too irresponsible to be allowed to date me.

Let me clarify that I am not mad about the oral sex. I am happy for S. But I am mad about the apparent lack of concern for health and what that might mean for my own health.
"Wish for others what you wish for yourself" ~ A man with many wives. Oddly enough, his wives did not have multiple husbands.
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fluid bond, fluid bonding, oral sex, safe sex, safer sex, sex, std, sti

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