Just want to vent.
I feel like I am flooding the forum sometimes with my vents..
But I really like the replies.. it keeps me from going crazy really.
Replies here helped me a lot, I can now speak more directly of what I want and less beat around the bush..
But still, I feel stuck. I know only time can tell, but honestly I don't know anymore...
I can see my boyfriend is strying to be nice to me about the subject since he sees in how much stress I am and how depressed it makes me.
But I don't think he is getting the whole message I am trying to tell him, or maybe he is in some sort of a denial I don't know.
He doesn't really get/understand that I want a relationship with that girl, only me without him being involved only as a friend when we go out or whatever because we do have fun time together (but the talk isn't about that now).
He thinks that she should be for the both of us for sex even thought he isn't even intrested in her that way and he knows she isn't interested in him that way, he just keeps saying it, to give me the feeling that sex with others is ok, relatuionships and feelings isn't/
He keeps saying we should do everything together like we always did, and I tell him that people change in time and doing different things not together is not bad at all...
I know that he is afraid that I don't love him or something, but I do everything for him, I still want to get married, don't want to cancel the wedding (in a whole don't want to, sometimes when I am really down I want to like, run away from everbod, but that's not a good plan anyway)
I understand he is afraid and all that, but it is like he isn't even giving it a chance to see things from m point of view.
He asked if I can make a chice, him or her and I can
I honestly can't.
And I don't think I should...
Theresome other weird things going on in my life, something about my job and my anxiet/depresion problems it feels like everthing is falling on me and while other things are not up to him
why he won't he do something for me.. he will never think of talking to my friends who has this kind of relationship and ask them what it is like, he would never think of maybe searching for groups online or whatever...
I know he is really trying, I can see that in some things that he does but it is SO not enough.