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Old 04-05-2012, 07:12 PM
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fortunafox fortunafox is offline
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Location: Logan, Utah
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Default My Fantabulous Self

This has to be quick, as in I'm catching a bus in ten minutes.

I'm 29, married, in a non-monogamous relationship. My husband and I are both bisexual but both of us have had more heterosexual than homosexual experiences. We have a daughter who just turned 2.

I highly recommend The Ethical Slut to my poly and monogamous friends, as it has been extremely helpful in negotiating boundaries and feelings within my marriage, which began as monogamous and has since branched out, undergoing different levels of transformation (first open to same-sex for each of us, than open to hetero- relationships). It's become something of our relationship Bible, along with Positive Discipline parenting techniques.

I have had experiences in the past where people used the label of an 'open relationship' as an excuse to fool around with whomever without necessarily respecting the other partner's feelings. My first threesome involved a couple where I suspect the girlfriend was going along with her boyfriend's desires instead of voicing her own, and that she really wanted to be monogamous. I suspect this because of her distance from and then rejection of me, then the boyfriend.

Since then, I have played very carefully. I don't wear my poly-ness on my sleeve, even in the local poly community, because of the tendency especially for men to assume that I'm DTF (down to F*#k) when I disclose the nature of our relationship.

I love listening to experimental and eclectic music, I'm co-founding a CUUPS chapter in my community (go to cuups.org if you're curious) and art, writing and music are very important creative outlets for me. Message me if you have questions, or if you're in the area and would like to meet!

Loves,
F
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Old 04-05-2012, 10:24 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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I find it interesting to see a CUUPS chapter forming in Utah. Not wholly unexpected, as I know some Pagan folk in the state. Still of interest to see more openly Pagan folk amongst the Mormons.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:14 AM
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fortunafox fortunafox is offline
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I guess I didn't have time to go into much detail, on that.

Regarding the first 3some I was involved with, we were all pretty young and unfamiliar with positive communication techniques - it lasted for a while but imploded.

But that was then, and this is now. Now, my husband and I are expanding our family via a serious relationship that he is involved with. I'm currently struggling with unexpected feelings I did not know would surface - had to live it to find out, apparently.

My sexual desire is still powerful, but has shifted a lot since having a baby. I've always known it was a power exchange, but now I feel a lot pickier about who I will have a sexual involvement with. I hold myself to particular standards - such as, a prospective partner must have an interest and care for the mind/body connection, and an interest in self-love and self-healing.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:19 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Fortuna,
Welcome to our forum.

I was born in Ogden (raised in Highland), so we hail indirectly from the same state. Also, don't know if you've heard of the Fresh Aire series by Mannheim Steamroller; I've thrived on that stuff for many a year. I couldn't help but think of that when you mentioned eclectic music ...

Anyway, it's good to have you aboard.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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