Primaries & secondaries?

[CielDuMatin]

I think that like most things in poly, it's totally up to the individual polycule what works. Some don't like the hierarchy and will poo-p;oo it, but if it works for everyone involved, then more power to ya!

I have had experience with my "arms" of my V not getting along at all, and have had some experience with them getting along passably. For me a requirement is that they have a functional relationship of some sort - it doesn't have to bea friendship, but it needs to be good enough that I'm not put in the middle of communicating between them when issues come up.

I'm a firm believer that what I would like is a "team approach" to the relationship, and feel that this would make things work the best, but sometimes that is hard to achieve.