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  #11  
Old 04-15-2012, 01:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by insanity View Post
can we REALLY love more than one person?
Well, I can't speak for you, but I know I can, and I do, and I am.

I have NEVER questioned how much I love someone when I have met someone else.
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  #12  
Old 04-15-2012, 02:00 AM
quiet2girl2 quiet2girl2 is offline
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My husband and I have had many a discussion about loving more than one person at a time. I'm still trying to convince him it's possible, he's a little worried
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  #13  
Old 04-15-2012, 02:08 AM
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I don't think that it's possible for everybody - I think some are wired to do it, and others aren't.
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  #14  
Old 04-15-2012, 03:03 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Jealousy isn't always a given. Many people don't experience much of that. It usually depends on how secure/insecure someone is.

Loving more than one person is the easiest thing in the world. Coming up against our programming is harder.
It's as if someone is reading my mind.

Loving more than one person is not difficult. Falling IN love with more than one person at the same time, might be more of a challenge, to be fair. But actually ongoing love with more than one person---been there, done that, and hope to do it more!

And yes to the jealousy isn't a given. Envy if you don't get your fair share is common in poly for sure....it's a scheduling and resource allocation challenge. But I can't recall any jealousy issues. I'm the one actually trying to get my current bf to go out and meet more guys. Go figure. LOL
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  #15  
Old 04-15-2012, 01:13 PM
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I am involved in a quad and I know that I am deeply I love with both my GF and my wife and lol my bf. so yes it is possible. In fact it's so possible we are talking about moving in together.
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  #16  
Old 04-15-2012, 03:23 PM
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Default Of course :)

Yes, it absolutely is possible. The new love feels different from the established one but doesn't cancel it. My boyfriend and I have been dating over a year and his core triad and my marriage to hubby are still happy and intact. It just takes honesty, compromise, a willingness to share and a lot of communication.
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  #17  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:03 PM
insanity insanity is offline
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Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Hmmm ... If you're having trouble convincing him, you may not have a lot of options as his skepticism is probably based in his emotions, and intellectual arguments don't always change emotions. To make matters worse, you're trying to convince him of something about your emotions (namely, that your feelings for him haven't changed). How do you ...
I really like what you wrote here,thank you for your time!



It is not like I am trying to convince him by telling him only, I show him with my actions that it is all till the same between us, and yeah, you are right, only time can show him that.


I am only second guessing myself about my feelings because of my anxiety problems…

I don’t think that poly people are making it up as an excuse, although I won’t lie, I thought about that about myself even though I always believed that we can love more that one… but I guess I was also second guessing and thinking that because we were ‘trained’ to believe in monogamy only.
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  #18  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Jealousy isn't always a given. Many people don't experience much of that. It usually depends on how secure/insecure someone is.

Loving more than one person is the easiest thing in the world. Coming up against our programming is harder.

Coming up against our programming is harder... liked that!
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  #19  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:15 PM
insanity insanity is offline
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Originally Posted by quiet2girl2 View Post
My husband and I have had many a discussion about loving more than one person at a time. I'm still trying to convince him it's possible, he's a little worried
kind of.. same here..

I was asking just to see people's thought and feelings about that..
obvously I am the one to decide about my own feelings.. but I get confused sometimes even when knowing the answer..
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  #20  
Old 04-18-2012, 05:07 AM
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That's very understandable, though, as feelings can be confusing.

Re:
Quote:
"It is not like I am trying to convince him by telling him only, I show him with my actions that it is all still the same between us, and yeah, you are right, only time can show him that."
Hang in there; he will come to see that it is all the same between you two eventually.

Re:
Quote:
"I guess I was also second guessing and thinking that because we were 'trained' to believe in monogamy only."
It is hard conditioning to overcome; even if something makes sense to your conscious mind, it may take awhile for your subconscious mind to catch up.
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