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  #11  
Old 02-20-2012, 07:55 PM
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Sure.
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  #12  
Old 02-20-2012, 11:53 PM
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Maybe it will be easier for you to talk about if you all three sit down together and let this woman initiate the conversation, so you don't feel the pressure of bringing it up, but will be able to add what you want to say.
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  #13  
Old 02-26-2012, 08:22 PM
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Thanks everyone!
I as thinking about all that stuff myself.. I wouldn't want her to start the conversation so it doesn't look like things were decided behind his back, besides, she shouldn't be stuck in the middle.

The best thing I thought of is for my those other friends maybe to bring it up... But My friends (the one from that poly relationship) says I should just wait and he might bring it up himself.

The other day I told him I told him I was going out with her to buy some stuff and just hang out and drink some beer. He as cool with that.. When I came back (she got up to the apartment for a second too) e got pissed like I didn't tell him or something. It was so weird and stupid and upsetting. Day after that he told me he was sorry and being stupid and said he'd tell her that as well.

It feels like when I take one step forward, I go back two steps :\
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  #14  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:40 AM
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So... I had one short conversation with my fiance, and he seemed calm and all that, but when I came to talk to him again he was really shocked.
I don't blame him.. but on the other hand, what did he expect when he was always looking for girls to play with me..

anyway he was shocked mainly because we are about to get married, at first I asked if we can do "what our friends are doing" they are living together.. (the girl has a husband and a girlfriend) but, frankly she doesn't want to come live here, not now, so I kind of shocked him but we decided that she can come whenever to spend the night here..

damn, I have to go, to be continued..

Last edited by insanity; 03-09-2012 at 03:17 PM.
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  #15  
Old 03-09-2012, 02:08 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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It sounds to me like you have a lot going on. Take a deep breath and relax. Then realize that he loves you. Then realize that youre wanting to get married and that's a big deal. Get through you're enormous emotional and life changing experiences one at a time. Life will be easier if you handle things one at a time instead of everything at once. It's very easy to get overwhelmed. As a new poly person myself I'm telling you now that being married and being newly poly is HARD. Be prepared to have ups and downs and try to not break down into arguments as that just fuels the fire and resentment.
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  #16  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:24 PM
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Thanks KyleKat, taking a breath is something i forget to do since I always want to please everyone (anxiety stuff...)

He is all shocked because he thinks there will be no "us" anymore.. but I don't think that's right. I guess it is hard to think of me as someone else too.. I think the fact that I chose a girl and not a man says a lot, if it was a man it was like I was saying that he is not man enough for me, but girls are so different.
I think it is what I need a guy and a girl...
and I am always worrying how do I make him understand that there is still "us" and that she is there to.. add and not to steal from him
I guess it takes time
but what if it doesn't happen ever
I don't want to lose any of them
This makes me so sad and rises up my anxiety
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  #17  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:37 PM
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Would your fiance be willing to read here, to see the many stories of how poly adds to, and doesn't necessarily take away from?
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  #18  
Old 03-09-2012, 10:22 PM
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His English is really bad.. :\
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  #19  
Old 03-10-2012, 12:38 AM
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Google translator?
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #20  
Old 04-12-2012, 06:49 AM
insanity insanity is offline
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I think that my boyfriend isn't into me being into polyamory
and it is tearing me apart..
I can write here for ages about how he sees this 'weird relationship' of me and that girl, but it is no where more than friends with benifits with not to much feelings, that's how he sees it and he refuses to overcome his fears and jealosy.. I know it is hard for him, but there are lots of things that I see different therefore it is not like I am asking him of something impossible..

I don't want to give up on any of them, and it tears me apart, I just really want to disappear most of the time
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