Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 04-07-2012, 02:58 PM
LotusesandRoses's Avatar
LotusesandRoses LotusesandRoses is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 110
Default

Oh, girl. You know what they call women who use the pull-out method?

Mothers.

Get thee to Planned Parenthood. Get an Implanon or the pill or something... I really like the Implanon. A baby is a terrific responsibility, and as much as you might love a child, you should wait until you're in a good place financially, emotionally, and relationship-wise. It sounds like you might not be there yet.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-07-2012, 03:15 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 20
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Don't think of it as having a baby. Think of it as having and raising a child to adulthood. An enormous responsibility. Not just for the financial aspect but for taking responsibility of the child's emotional and psychological well-being. HUGE.

You have one depressed partner who quit his minimum-wage job, another who isn't sure he wants to be a father, and you say money is tight. Have you figured out a budget? Common sense should tell you that this is no time to have and raise a child. We are in an economic depression right now. Being on welfare to do it won't be very rewarding. The stress alone will be difficult, and you need partners who will be there for you. I think you should rethink your fascination with "having a baby" and wait a few years until your life is more stable.
Oh, I know raising children is really raising the adults they will be. And I know exactly how much time and effort it takes. It's my job, I do it every day.

Well, the job Badger quit wasn't minimum wage, but the job he has now is. He took a big step down on the pay scale. Turtle thinks he might like to have kids, but is on the fense. Money is tight between Badger and I. I must not have made this clear, but Turtle has plenty of money. Our children would have everything they need, no worries. I would not have children on welfare, that is why I stopped trying to get pregnant when my Husband quit his job. I want to be a stay at home Mom, and if I can't do that then I want to wait.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-07-2012, 04:08 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 20
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LotusesandRoses View Post
Oh, girl. You know what they call women who use the pull-out method?

Mothers.

Get thee to Planned Parenthood. Get an Implanon or the pill or something... I really like the Implanon. A baby is a terrific responsibility, and as much as you might love a child, you should wait until you're in a good place financially, emotionally, and relationship-wise. It sounds like you might not be there yet.
I don't want to go on birth control for a number of reasons. One of which being that I want to get pregnant. It's up to Turtle where he puts his seed.

I am going to sit down with Turtle tonight about what the plan would be if I got pregnant. I want to come up with a list of questions to ask him. Here are some:

Living arrangements? Financial arrangements? Life insurance? Health insurance? Inheritance? Marriage? Names? Paternity testing? What if our romantic relationship ends?

I'm trying to think of anything more. I'm mostly curious about practical things. We've already talked about every parenting issue I could think of: birth, breast feeding, circumcision, parenting style, spanking, discipline, education, diet, religion.

If anyone can think of any issues I've forgotten let me know.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-08-2012, 10:30 PM
Bunny Bunny is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 20
Default

Well, Turtle wasn't too comfortable talking about the pregnancy plan, he said maybe a lot. So he's going to think about what he would do and want if I got pregnant. In the mean time, until we are both comfortable with the idea of getting pregnant, we will be using condoms. I'm not comfortable not knowing what the plan would be in the real chance of pregnancy during unprotected sex. I figure that if he's not emotionally ready to live with me and support me while I'm a stay at home mom than we shouldn't be having risky sex. He said he wasn't worried about it because he trusts himself to do the right thing because he's never screwed up in the past. So maybe he's right and it would be fine, but I hate not knowing things and not having plans. So fluid bonding will have to wait.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-10-2012, 01:09 AM
thepolymom thepolymom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 9
Default

Ok I just read your introduction. So now I know were all your questions are coming from. I got lucky with my husband he worked through it. He also said no more kids. I am getting the IUD and he asked BF to get fixed. BF agreed but he hasn't yet. So I am taking it into my hands to not hurt hubby again. Me and BF had talked about it between him and I. He supports me emotionally as much as he can from the distance. Hubby is ok with having another male around to be a daddy role to the 14 year old. He also knows that when BF moves here he will miss his little one. So he is willing to give him room and adjust being a step-dad to his kids. Hubby is the stay at home parent and BF and I work. We hashed out the roles once we found out about the new baby. The guys also have a brother like relationship so they talk to each other and leave me out sometimes. However it helps them and me when they are on the same page. I told them that is how I wanted it. Just in case anything happens to me I want them to raise the kids together. So they need to be able to stand each other.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:10 PM.