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  #31  
Old 04-04-2012, 01:16 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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I went out on a date once and took my ring off for her benefit (her friends were around and they wouldn't understand). I nearly lost it that night and decided to wear it after finding it again.

I've taken it off a few other times while at the bar to make it easier to hit on women but my intention was never to hide my intentions or status. Unfortunately, I was drunk, and so the odds were already stacked against me. So off came the ring.

I much prefer the ring. Whenever I take it off, for whatever the reason, it leaves a weird feeling and I often flick my thumb over the spot to check for it. I don't like having it off. The longest I've ever had it off intentionally (sometimes I do yard work and take it off and forget about it) is maybe two hours. After that it becomes unbearable to leave it off.

My wife left her rings here when she went to LA because the size of them at the time made her nervous. They are heirlooms from her deceased mother and if she lost them she would be devastated. She wore something that I bought her that meant more to "us" than her wedding and engagement ring did.

I have since had her rings re-sized, and she wears them much more frequently.
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Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
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  #32  
Old 04-04-2012, 06:27 AM
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LadyKane LadyKane is offline
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My husband leaves his wedding ring on all the time, but mine is too big and I end up taking it off to do the dishes/bathe the baby/take my own shower and forgetting to put it back on. I'm not really an "meet new people at the bar" kinda person, but I wouldn't leave my ring off just to meet people.
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  #33  
Old 04-05-2012, 04:21 AM
Alexod Alexod is offline
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Default Never could wear a ring

In the UK it wasn't common for men to wear a ring anyway, so I never expected to. I married in the US, and shortly before the wedding it was decided I should have a ring. Well, I got a ring, and the day I got it it was a tight fit. By the time the wedding day came it was a loose fit, and I could feel it on the neighbouring fingers. Turns out my fingers changed size almost hourly. Add to that a few zaps from open power supplies (working with electrionics) and I gave up wearing a ring.

17 years later someone finally calls me on the fact that I don't wear a ring. She was insecure in her relationship, and so was going through an "all men are bad" phase.

I was married for 18 years before DW decided poly should be an option. By then I was very used to not wearing a ring.

NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. I have made a new friend - local shop assistant. She knows I have kids, and I think she knows I have a wife. It's too early to tell if she has ambitions beyond friendship, heck I don't even know where I stand myself, but I want to send a clear message, and wish the ring were there. We're gonna have a coffee together, get more than a few stolen minutes while shopping.

Last time I made friends kinda like this with a co worker, I thought she might be gay, and she thought I was gay (long story) so neither of us even considered anything, and this was before poly was an option for me, so I just didn't want to see to be hitting on her.
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  #34  
Old 04-05-2012, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexod View Post
In the UK it wasn't common for men to wear a ring anyway, so I never expected to.
I think it has only become more common for men to wear wedding rings in the last 20 years or so. Before then, it was often considered only optional for the husband. I remember, in my late teens and early 20s, when I was going to bars and clubs, it was always a given that just because a man did not wear a ring did not mean he wasn't married. We had to ask if we wanted to know, because lots of married men just didn't wear rings. Hell, I will still ask if I don't see one. One just cannot assume anything!

I wonder if originally a wedding ring was only meant for the woman to wear as a signal (like having been branded) that she "belonged to" someone, since for a long time the institution of marriage was about wives being the property of their husbands.
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  #35  
Old 04-05-2012, 06:37 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I think it has only become more common for men to wear wedding rings in the last 20 years or so. Before then, it was often considered only optional for the husband. I remember, in my late teens and early 20s, when I was going to bars and clubs, it was always a given that just because a man did not wear a ring did not mean he wasn't married. We had to ask if we wanted to know, because lots of married men just didn't wear rings. Hell, I will still ask if I don't see one. One just cannot assume anything!
indie, back in the day, when we were going to bars & clubs, there were lots of hippies and children of hippies who weren't wearing rings. I think before that it was also more common (and I'll take your word for it about nowadays)


Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I wonder if originally a wedding ring was only meant for the woman to wear as a signal (like having been branded) that she "belonged to" someone, since for a long time the institution of marriage was about wives being the property of their husbands.
The common story is that it was a symbol of what used to be chains (fetters) of slavery, and a reminder that women were property.

Current bf and I sometimes discuss our fantasy wedding, and he always brings up that he doesn't think he could wear a ring. I offer the solution of a tattoo.
I'd like to get a white tattoo (or even scarification) of a snake on a finger.
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  #36  
Old 04-12-2012, 10:37 PM
amuk amuk is offline
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I'm not sure what to do either. I'm not so interested in the small poly social group that exists in this city. Their meetings are rather seldom and most often I'm occupied with nursing school or family life when those meeting occur. My "hobby" is pretty much school for now so, for the most part, school is also my social life. And, oh, how much I miss and wish for being chased...and I'm hard pressed to see how that will ever happen outside of a poly social group with my wedding band on. Within my group of friends at school I've done my best to make it clear that I'm "available" and my wife is okay with (and actually wishes) that I find someone else for myself. I can't be all too outspoken because I'm going to have to work with some of the people in the nursing program, some of them are rather religious/conservative, and my potential employers (hospitals) can be rather judgmental of anyone much outside of the "norm". Once I've worked a few years, gotten my Masters degree, and can work independently I won't have to be so careful.

I've been continuing to wear my ring, but am considering taking it off. I'm just feeling more and more that it is a sign I'm taken and not available. I know that as a monogamist dating years ago I didn't even consider flirting with/hitting on a woman with an engagement ring or wedding band. I'm left to believe many women will think the same when they see a ring on my finger. On the other hand, my wife has no problem getting guys to flirt and hit on her, but she is more socially outspoken and sees no stigma attached to her propounding her polyness.

I'm curious if any guys out there have noticed a difference in the response of women to them since they have stopped wearing their wedding band.

Thanks!
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  #37  
Old 08-17-2013, 04:41 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Question Your ring, leave it on or take it off

I haven't officially gone out on a date yet, but am interacting with a couple of guys I might want to meet. I've been searching for a post on this but haven't found any yet.

When you go on a date, do you keep your wedding ring on if you are married? What about when just out in public (grocery store, the park) where you might meet a stranger that say "hi"?

I've been thinking about this for the last few days. I'd almost feel naked without it on. I just don't know what my protocol should be. Any past experiences anyone can share with me?
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  #38  
Old 08-17-2013, 05:00 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I rarely wear mine ever-I never did.

But-I have two. I have one ring for my DH and one for my BF and any time I dress up-I wear both.

They both have rings-and they never take them off-not ever. They didn't before poly-they don't now.

We generally operate on the premise that if someone is already spooked by that-they aren't going to be good dating material for our dynamic.
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  #39  
Old 08-17-2013, 05:01 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Leave it on... if you feel naked without it. These guys know you're married so who cares.

The only reason I don't wear mine is I have lost so much weight mine falls off.
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  #40  
Old 08-17-2013, 06:23 AM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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I always leave mine on. I am temporarily not wearing one because I plan on ordering a wood ring which suits me better
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