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  #21  
Old 03-30-2012, 07:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hey Frank, please don't turn what works for me into a special formula or rule you think you should follow. I'm flattered that my words resonated with you, but I do directly state in my profile that I do not want exclusivity, as Derby pointed out. Honestly, I read your passage about relationship patterns and do not really know what you're talking about! It comes across a bit like gobbledy-gook.

AND please note that, although I don't use the p-word to describe myself or my approach to relationships, it is mentioned elsewhere in my OKC profile in another context - as the first clue. I also make sure to answer all the poly-related Questions they have, so that is another clue for anyone savvy enough. Also, while I don't necessarily see it as crucial to bring up on a first date, if the conversations leads to it, I won't shy away from talking about polyamory. My point is that I'm flexible, according to the vibe I get from someone, but I tend to reveal just enough to pique someone's interest in contacting me, but leave the deeper discussions for after we establish a connection (whether in person, via emails, or on the phone). But even I don't make my own preferences into hard and fast rules on how to do it.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-30-2012 at 08:02 PM.
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  #22  
Old 04-01-2012, 02:50 PM
SoCalDoc SoCalDoc is offline
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Frank, just wondering..are you married or in a committed relationship? If so, how is your wife/SO handling this?
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  #23  
Old 04-01-2012, 03:01 PM
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FrankLee FrankLee is offline
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Hi SoCalDoc,

Did you see the signature on all my posts? Note at the bottom of this post. No, I'm not married, nor do I have a Significant Other.

Best regards, Frank
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Frank is an unattached recovering monogamist, poly dating straight male.
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  #24  
Old 04-01-2012, 06:00 PM
SoCalDoc SoCalDoc is offline
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Oops, missed that. I'm new to poly so I could be wrong about this, but it seems unnecessary for an unattached person to wave a neon sign announcing "I'm poly" or making this a big topic on first dates. Don't most people (poly or not) date multiple partners until serious intentions arise? Couldn't the poly topic wait until the 2nd or 3rd date? Or beyond? Maybe I'm missing the point, but it seems like you're suggesting that being "poly" is the most important or most interesting thing about yourself--I doubt that's the case.
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  #25  
Old 04-01-2012, 06:05 PM
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LotusesandRoses LotusesandRoses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalDoc View Post
Don't most people (poly or not) date multiple partners until serious intentions arise?
Not where I live in the south. It's assumed you begin and finish business with one person, serious or not, before moving on to someone else.
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