Originally Posted by Cleo
Kyle, I'm sorry that you're feeling frustrated.
I think you really need to look at your relationship with A. In one post you say:
"Anyway, I'm not naive enough to think that this would be easy or that I'd get it right on the first try, so it's not like I'm super torn up over this. I kind of expected it really. If it works out in my favor, awesome."
and then in the next: "I'm falling head over heels for this girl and I can't figure out why. "
I have had some bad experiences with falling in love with guys I'd met online.. before ever meeting them in person. Its so very very easy to fall for someone who's not in your daily life, who you've never met, who you can project everything on. It seems (and maybe I'm wrong) you use the contact with her as a comfort because things with your wife are not going well. (and because your wife has this new and exciting prospect). But you don't know for sure A is a comfort.. because until you meet her in person (even though you talk to her on the phone) she's not really real. I understand she's real to you, because she's such a major part of your life right now, I'm just pointing out the dangers of falling for someone you've never met... because I've been there, done that, and it wasn't fun
Therein lies the problem. I have met every single girl I have been serious with online. I talked about details a few entries ago but essentially I've always gone this route. So I know the rules and I'm ignoring them. I'm not being patient and taking it at a comfortable pace. I'm being pushy which is so unlike me. I think it's because I've never had someone in my life actively looking for other people and I know it isn't a race but at the same time she's been with LA and she will get to be with B before I even get a chance to meet someone. And with both she was friends before all of this and so it's not like she has to work out the social aspects. It's not a competition and I knew going in that she would get more interests than me. There was one point where my wife mentioned to me that she wanted someone to talk to like I talk to A. So it seems like we have what the other wants. She wants an ear that will listen and I want someone I can hold and hug and kiss.
I'm jumping to conclusions. A hasn't said we can't be more, she just asked me to be patient. I can do that. She's worth it.