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Old 03-20-2012, 02:12 PM
onoma onoma is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 78

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
If I was not jealous then I would question how much they mean to me. I would question how much I mean to them if they were not jealous sometimes too.
I got into a fight with my girlfriend a few weeks ago because after a dream she brought up the poly thing, and I said I wouldn't be jealous if she slept with someone else but would be upset that she did so when I'm not allowed. She got upset that I wouldn't be jealous, and I really didn't understand... and still don't.

I think on a fundamental level I don't understand jealousy the way most people do. To me it's just a negative emotion...

I would never think I didn't care about someone just because I wasn't jealous. I think I'd only be jealous if I couldn't "partake," as it were. I judge how much I care about someone based on what I feel like doing for them. I find myself doing more for her than I would for myself, and giving up time with friends or other things I enjoy. What should her spending an hour with someone else matter?
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jealous, jealousy, lessons, new to polyamory

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